


A Forever Kind of Love

by SPowell



Category: Merlin - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Shmoop, goats and chickens, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-14
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-21 03:18:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/592847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SPowell/pseuds/SPowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the kinkme_merlin prompt: Arthur/Merlin "You know, you'd be an excellent father."</p><p>Arthur wants that forever kind of love.</p><p>Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They are the property of BBC and Shine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. They Meet in a Sandbox. Yes, a sandbox.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally titled "The One Where Arthur Meets Merlin in a Sandbox."  
> I've moved it over here because I make so many errors writing on kink_me.
> 
> I just want to make a note about the confusion on the two Percy's. This story began anonymously for kink me merlin, where I was unable to go in and edit. I made an error by adding Percy again after I'd already made Percy Arthur's partner. I was too deeply in to go back and change it by the time I put the story over here, thus the two Percy's and the ridiculous nickname "C."
> 
> Also, I do my best, but I'm sure it's painfully obvious I'm not British. If you are easily put off, you may want to stop reading now. I'm not going to do something glaring like set them all down at the Thanksgiving table, but I'm also not aware of small British customs and not likely to always go with British spellings. However, if you love the characters as I do, want a good read, and are willing to put up with me, read on!

  
"You know, you'd make an excellent father," the man said, and Merlin looked over his shoulder at him from where he sat on the edge of the sandbox playing with Gwen and Lance's three-year-old son, Gareth.  
  
The man who had spoken to him was blond, tall, broad-shouldered, and aristocratically handsome. He wore a very expensive suit and carried a briefcase, making Merlin painfully aware of his own tattered jeans and fairly filthy jersey, along with the fact that he had sand all over him.  
  
"How do you know I'm not already one?" Merlin asked, picking up a small yellow bucket and filling it with sand. He patted it down with long, thin fingers.  
  
"I guess I don't," the man replied easily, coming to take a seat beside him, even though he was getting sand all over his nice suit. "This little boy doesn't look anything like you, but I suppose he could be adopted."  
  
Merlin studied the man's face, thinking that this was a weird conversation and wondering if the guy was some kind of pedophile. When he didn't say anything, the man colored and stuck out a hand.

"Sorry, Arthur Pendragon. I promise I'm not a nut."  
  
Merlin slowly put out his hand and shook it, grains of sand scraping between their palms. "Sorry." Merlin pulled his hand away and rubbed the sand off on his jeans. Gareth had occupied himself with a little Asian girl of about his age, running small plastic cars through the sand between them, and was no longer paying any attention to Merlin.   
  
"Um...do you always make conversation with men in sandboxes?" Merlin finally asked when Arthur didn't say anything more but continued to sit watching the children play.  
  
"No, not usually," Arthur answered distantly before he jerked himself back and looked at Merlin. "I guess I'm being kind of creepy, aren't I?" He sighed. "To be honest, it was really an awful pickup line. Which is pretty ridiculous, seeing as I don't even know if you're gay. I just saw you, and you seemed to be having such a good time playing with this little boy, and I thought...what a good dad you probably are, or could be. And I love your coloring...your skin, hair and eyes. You know?"  
  
Merlin found himself staring, not knowing what to make of Arthur Pendragon.  
  
Arthur brought his hands up to his face and rubbed over his eyes. "I probably sound even creepier now. Shit." He looked guiltily over at the kids. "Sorry...shouldn't cuss in front of them."  
  
At that moment, Gwen and Lance appeared, shopping bags in each of their hands.   
  
"How was he, Merlin?" Gwen asked, her eyes curiously glancing off Arthur.  
  
"Perfect, as always," Merlin said, standing up and rubbing the sand off the back of his jeans. "Oh, um. This is Arthur. We were just chatting."  
  
Arthur stood, holding out his hand to shake both Gwen's and Lance's. "Arthur Pendragon," he said.  
  
"Lance and Gwen Groves," Lance replied, smiling, his teeth very white contrasted against his tanned skin.  
  
Gareth got up and ran to his mother, hugging her legs. Gwen brushed his dark, curly hair back from his face.  
  
"Are you by any chance the Pendragon from Pendragon, Weston, and Fitz, Attorneys at Law?" Lance asked curiously.  
  
Arthur nodded.  
  
"Your firm did some work for my friend Percy Crawly not too long ago," Lance said. "You really saved him a bundle in a law suit."  
  
Arthur smiled. "I'm glad we could help."  
  
"Well, we'd best be off. Say goodbye to Uncle Merlin, Gareth," Gwen announced.  
  
Merlin crouched to hug Gareth.   
  
"See you for Sunday dinner, Merlin," Lance said, waving. "Nice to meet you, Arthur."  
  
"Same," Arthur waved. He turned back to find Merlin watching him.   
  
"I am," Merlin said.  
  
"You are what?" Arthur frowned.  
  
"Gay. And Gareth, obviously, is not my child. I was minding him while Gwen and Lance shopped for his birthday."  
  
Arthur nodded. "Ah."  
  
"So that was really a come-on?" Merlin asked dubiously.  
  
"Yes and no," Arthur admitted. "I wanted to know you, but I really do think you'd make a great father. I've been watching you while I ate lunch over on that bench."  
  
"And you liked my...coloring."  
  
"Very much," Arthur smiled, and Merlin found that he really liked Arthur's smile.

"Would you consider having coffee or tea with me?" Arthur asked. "There's a place just over there." He pointed towards the shops.  
  
"Well, sure, I guess so." Merlin smiled and followed Arthur to the small cafe across the street. When they were seated beneath the awning and had their drinks, Arthur asked Merlin what he did for a living.  
  
"I'm a writer," Merlin answered. "Freelance stuff, although I'm working on a novel in my spare time. But I have to pay the rent, so I pick up other stuff here and there."  
  
"That's interesting," Arthur replied, and Merlin shrugged. "Probably not as interesting as law."  
  
"Oh, don't be so sure. I would much rather be following a passion."  
  
Merlin watched as Arthur took a sip of his tea. The afternoon sun glanced off Arthur's blond hair, making it shine almost white. "So, what is your passion, then, if not law?"  
  
Arthur looked down at the table and then back at Merlin. "Actually, I've been trying to figure that out for years. I just know that I'm not very happy doing what I'm doing. I'm tired of city life. I want to settle down...plant a vegetable garden...raise chickens."  
  
Merlin laughed. "Chickens? Okay."  
  
Arthur smiled. "What? They're nice birds...What have you got against chickens?"  
  
Merlin held up his hands, palms out. "Nothing! Nothing at all. Perfectly respectable, er, poultry are chickens."  
  
It was Arthur's turn to laugh. "Okay, then. When I get my farm all set up, I'm inviting you over to look at my chickens. Or maybe just chicken, singular. Like a pet."  
  
"I'll look forward to that," Merlin answered, grinning around his tea. "Any other animals you plan to have? Goats maybe? I rather like goats."  
  
"You don't find them a bit...creepy?" Arthur asked.   
  
"No. Do you?"  
  
"I don't know...their eyes are kind of weird."  
  
"Well, if I have to put aside my prejudices against chickens, then you need to give goats a go," Merlin told him. "It's only fair."  
  
"All right, then. I'll get a few goats just for you." Arthur met Merlin's eyes, and Merlin felt a warmth growing inside him, filling him up.

Merlin recognized the signs--his ears buzzed, his fingers tingled, he zoned out.   
  
Yeah, he liked Arthur Pendragon. Liked, liked. And now he found himself staring at Arthur's lips as he talked. They were perfectly shaped and just a little red. His teeth were white. And that tongue...  
  
Merlin suddenly realized that Arthur had stopped talking. Jerking his eyes away from Arthur's mouth, he said, "Huh?"  
  
 _Shit, Merlin, so eloquent! Why don't you dazzle him some more by drooling or snorting tea up your nose?_  
  
He cleared his throat, but his voice still came out hoarse. "I'm sorry," he said, "I kind of just zoned out there. What were you saying?"  
  
Arthur looked relieved. "I was afraid for a minute you were trying to think of a way to let me down easy." He cocked his head to the side. "It took me this long to get up the nerve, and now I have to say it again?" At Merlin's blank look, Arthur nodded and continued, "I asked if you'd like to go to dinner with me Friday night."  
  
Merlin blinked. Dinner? Oh---"Yes, yes!" he hastened to say, and then felt silly because it came out so eager, but Arthur was smiling, and Merlin really did like his smile. Until Merlin remembered he had plans with Will Friday night, but bugger Will--Merlin would just cancel.  
  
"Brilliant, then," Arthur pulled out his iPhone and passed it to him. "Would you program your number into my contacts? I'll give you a ring in a day or two, and we'll confirm." He looked at his watch as Merlin took the phone. "I've taken double a lunch break as it is, and Leon's going to have my head. We generally take our lunch's separately while the others see clients, and he's last today."  
  
Merlin passed the phone back. "There. Text me soon so I'll have yours."   
  
They stood, said rather shy goodbyes, and parted.

***

"What do you mean, you're cancelling?" Will grouched over the phone that night. Merlin had him on speaker, and it was a bit too loud, Will's harsh voice reverberating around Merlin's bathroom walls.  
  
"Dates trump friends, you know that," Merlin said.  
  
Will grumbled a bit more, and Merlin leaned farther back in the tub, relishing the feel of the hot water on his skin.  
  
"Fuck, mate, are you in the fucking  _bathtub_?" Will asked. "I hear drippage!"  
  
"Yes, I'm in the bathtub. I had to climb out to answer your call," Merlin replied easily, reaching for the strawberry-smelling soap his sister Elena had given him for Christmas and lathering up a flannel with it. "Do you have a problem with that?"  
  
"Yes! I start picturing all your bits when I know you're in the tub!" Will complained. "And I bet you're washing with that fruity soap, aren't you," he added.  
  
Sometimes Merlin really hated having a best mate who knew everything about him.   
  
"You'd better shut it, or I'll tell Elena you said that, and you'll never have a chance with her," Merlin warned him.  
  
Will sighed. He'd been infatuated with Elena since he was a kid but had never had the gumption to do anything about it. "Well, then, if you're dumping me on our pub night, better tell me about the wanker you're doing it for. Where'd you pick him up?"  
  
"He picked  _me_  up, I'll have you know," Merlin said, lifting his arms one by one and scrubbing under them, giving the phone a baleful stare as if it were Will himself perched on the counter. _Only, that would be weird, since Merlin was naked. And bathing._ "You know, you don't do my confidence any good by automatically assuming I have to do all the pulling in my love life."  
  
"Alright, alright, don't get your rainbow panties in a twist. So give the details already."  
  
Merlin settled back, conjuring up Arthur's face. "We met in the park. I was playing with Gareth, and he walked up and started talking to me. We had tea afterwards. He's tall...blond...very fit. He has the nicest blue eyes, too."  
  
"I thought you had the nicest blue eyes," Will interrupted.  
  
"Yeah, well, I give up the title to Arthur. They're deep and very expressive."  
  
"Arthur, huh? Sounds like a geek."  
  
"He's not a geek, Will! He's an attorney!" Merlin objected.  
  
"That's even worse! Oh my God, have you no shame?" Will's voice crackled over the speaker just as Merlin's phone began to beep.  
  
"Saved by low batteries," Merlin told him, laughing. "We're going to be cut off."  
  
"Well, you just have fun with your sodding _attorney_  Friday night, then. But when he leaves you to run after an ambulance, call me and I'll come pick up the pieces." He rang off.

 

***

 "So, where are you taking this new bloke?" Leon asked, resting his bum on the edge of Arthur's desk and swinging one long leg.  
  
"I thought that little Italian place near my flat," Arthur answered, shuffling papers around, looking for his wire-framed reading glasses. "God, am I getting old? I'm too young for reading glasses, Leon! But I can't seem to see without them!"  
  
"It happens to the best of us, mate," Leon told him with a boyish grin. "But in your case, it's far-sightedness, not age. Besides, I think you look gorgeous with them on."  
  
"That's because you're gayer than a pink cigar."  
  
Leon pretended to pout. "Tell me about this  _Merlin_ ," he finally said.   
  
Arthur stopped what he was doing and leaned back in his leather chair. "Tall-- all limbs and elbows, ebony hair, blue-blue eyes, high cheekbones, just the right handful of ass, and the most fuckable lips you've ever seen." He sighed. "I just want to lock myself in the bedroom with him for a week."  
  
Leon raised a brow. "Wow, I haven't seen you this gone since...Cenred?"  
  
"Merlin makes Cenred look like something the dog chewed up and spit out." Arthur frowned before continuing. "I saw Merlin in the park where I was eating lunch. He was in a sandbox, playing with a cute little boy. It made me so hard."  
  
Leon flinched. "Arthur!"  
  
"No, no, I didn't mean--shit, Leon! You know me better than that! I meant, the way he was with that kid...building castles with him, and being such a fucking sweetheart...it just got to me. He'd make a great father."  
  
"You already have a father," Leon reminded him. "A rather forceful one."  
  
Arthur gave his friend a dirty look. "I know you don't approve of my dreams of finding a man and settling down somewhere in domestic bliss, but would you mind not bringing my father into this?"  
  
"If you think I mind, think again," Leon corrected. "It's your dear old dad who will have a shit fit."  
  
"Whatever," Arthur got back to looking for his glasses. "I'm going to do exactly what I want. I will not turn out like Morgana, all tangled up in a career she despises, married to a lout Uther approves of. Father will come around eventually."  
  
"I hope you're right," Leon replied. "I thought he ordered you to not be gay." He rolled his eyes at the memory.  
  
"Yes, and I suppose he imagines I immediately traded my LGBT membership in for a lifetime subscription to Playboy magazine and began looking for the perfect woman on the spot. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, Leon." He gave his friend a meaningful look.  
  
"Well, I'm certainly not going to rat on you!" Leon said, hand to heart. He stood. Where's Perce, anyway? It's my turn for lunch."  
  
"He'll be here any minute," Arthur replied. "Say, do you have the paper? I want to check out the real estate."   
  
"Still looking for the perfect place in the country?" Leon asked, handing it to him.  
  
"Definitely. Even more so now that I've found the perfect man."  
  
"Oi, don't get too ahead of yourself, there, Arthur. You barely know the bloke! He might not be quite as perfect as you think."  
He stepped forward and put a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "Be careful, Art."  
  
Arthur smiled up at him, patting his hand. "I will. And I think you know that the last time I was this far gone was  _not_  with Cenred." His eyes softened. "It was with you."  
  
Leon bent and kissed Arthur gently on the lips. "Which is exactly the reason I care so much. You and I weren't meant to be, but it was painful nonetheless. I don't want you to be hurt again."  
  
"I promise I'll try to go slow," Arthur told him, giving his hand a squeeze.

 

***

 

Arthur had changed his shirt three times, and he'd even asked the cab driver what he thought of it.  
  
"It looks like a shirt, mate," the cabby had said. "Now, where to?"  
  
Arthur sighed, gave him the address, and sat back. If he'd been at his apartment, he could have walked. But he'd gone to Leon's to get ready because he was just that much of a girl.  
  
Leon had calmed his nerves, chosen his outfit, then loaned him one of his own shirts when Arthur decided his alternate wasn't good enough. Then he'd given Arthur a fortifying shot of whiskey, told him he was beautiful, and pushed him out the door.  
  
Arthur had butterflies galore in his belly. He wasn't sure why he'd fallen head over heels for someone he barely knew, but he was pretty sure he had. Unless...unless maybe he was romanticizing the whole thing. Maybe Merlin really hadn't been as gorgeous as Arthur remembered. Maybe his lips hadn't looked pillowy soft and his eyes hadn't been blue as the summer sky.  
  
Maybe his smile hadn't lit up the room and his arse hadn't set him ablaze...  
  
Then Arthur was paying the cabby and approaching the restaurant, and there was Merlin, turning around, looking at him, flashing that grin---  
  
And Arthur stopped in his tracks. Gobsmacked.  
  
He was a fucking goner, because Merlin was all those things and more. 

 

Merlin had the sudden urge to run. What the fuck was he doing? He was meeting a man for dinner he barely knew, that's what. The guy could be a nut! In fact, he probably was a nut...hadn't he told Merlin he wanted a  _chicken_  for a pet?   
  
But then he turned and caught sight of Arthur, and he couldn't help smiling at him, and Arthur smiled back...which did funny things to Merlin's insides.  
  
"Hi," Arthur said, somehow managing to look shy and movie-starrish at the same time.  
  
"Hi," Merlin returned, feeling a blush creep up his neck.  
  
"Um, is this place okay with you? Italian?"  
  
"I love Italian," Merlin replied, trying not to stare at Arthur, but shit, he looked so damn handsome in that black shirt. Merlin could see a bit of chest hair where it opened at the neck, and he wanted to rub his nose in it.  
  
"Terrific! Let's go in, then, yeah?"  
  
Merlin nodded and followed Arthur into the dimly lit dining room. The hostess seated them at a table next to a window, and Merlin caught himself peeking at Arthur around his menu, and a couple of times Arthur was peeking back at him.  
  
 _What am I, thirteen?_  Merlin chided himself, trying to concentrate on the entrees. He considered ordering spaghetti. Perhaps he and Arthur could share it ala [Lady and the Tramp](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4UeJ8qhjdes/TzLq0E0WvII/AAAAAAAABFs/SwlHIAqDzL0/s1600/Lady+and+the+Tramp.jpg). Fuck, that was the first time he'd had that urge! Something about Arthur brought out his inner romantic...something Merlin hadn't even known existed.  
  
"I think I'll have the lasagne," Arthur said. "If I get spaghetti, I'm sure to spill it on myself."  
  
Merlin grinned. "I was just thinking spaghetti, but you're probably right. If anyone will spill, it will be me. I guess I'll have the eggplant Parmesan." He put the menu aside.  
  
"Wine?" Arthur asked, and Merlin nodded. "You choose."  
  
Arthur ordered for them, and then told Merlin about a house he went to see after finding it in the real estate pages. "It's really amazing!" he enthused, and Merlin found himself entranced by Arthur's enthusiasm.  
  
"It's just like what I've dreamed about, even down to the two large oaks that I can fit a hammock between," Arthur said. "You've got to see it." He stopped abruptly. "I mean, maybe you'd like to see it...sometime."  
  
Merlin grinned. "I'd love to see it, Arthur." And Arthur immediately perked up. Arthur asked Merlin how the rest of his week had gone, and Merlin described the annoying writers block he'd been experiencing and how he'd been hired to write an article about petroleum jelly.  
  
Arthur's brows rose. "Really? That's...mundane."  
  
"Tell me about it. They want something all glowing about the stuff, and I really can't even think of anything good about it, except as lip balm. You can't even use it as lube because it eats off the latex on the condoms and gets women pregnant." Realizing what he'd said, Merlin stuttered out, "Sorry! Who talks about lube on a first date?"  
  
Arthur only laughed.   
  
"You'll think of something, Merlin. I have faith in you."  
  
Merlin wanted to grab Arthur by his shirt and kiss him. He wanted it so badly, he had to concentrate on the people around him for a moment so he wouldn't do just that. And now that he'd brought up  _lube_  of all things, Merlin couldn't stop thinking about sex. And Arthur. With Arthur. Preferably soon.

 _Merlin, you slag,_  he thought.

After dinner, Arthur and Merlin strolled down the street, looking in shop windows.  
  
"The goats..." Merlin suddenly said, and Arthur stopped, looking at him.  
  
"Goats?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, you said you'd get a couple goats when you move out in the country. For me." Merlin grinned. "What about fainting goats?"  
  
Arthur looked truly bewildered, and Merlin laughed. "Google them. These goats, they faint when startled. It's hilarious."  
  
Arthur smiled. "And that's the kind of goat you want? The kind that faint?"  
  
Merlin shrugged. "Maybe. It would be pretty amusing, you have to admit."  
  
Arthur shook his head, and they continued down the street. "Sure, any time we get bored, we can say, 'hey, let's go scare the goats and watch them pass out.' It'll be brilliant!" Merlin wondered if Arthur realized he was talking like they'd be living there together. It gave him goosebumps.  
  
After a few minutes, Arthur took Merlin's hand in his and held onto it as they walked. Merlin felt like he was a teenager on his first date. His stomach was queasy, he was a little light-headed, his knees were beginning to shake...  
  
"Do you think you might consider going out with me again?" Arthur asked him after a time.  
  
Merlin pretended to consider. "Yeah, I think that can be arranged."  
  
Arthur stopped. "Good. Because I really want you to go on a picnic with me."  
  
"A picnic?" Merlin repeated. "As in eating food on the ground?"  
  
"Yeah," Arthur chuckled. "Don't you like picnics?"  
  
Merlin bit his lip. "I can't say that I've ever been on one, actually. But I'm willing to give it a try."  
  
"You've never been on a picnic?" Arthur's eyes grew wide. "Well, we'll have to remedy that right away. Can you go on Sunday?"  
  
"Sure, if it's in the afternoon. Where shall we have this picnic?" Merlin asked.  
  
"Leave that to me. I'll pick you up at eleven, if that will work for you."  
  
"That'll be good. Do you have a car?"  
  
Arthur nodded. "I don't use it that much in the city, but it's great for trips." He squeezed Merlin's hand. "I've had a really nice time, Merlin."  
  
"I have, too." Merlin looked down to where Arthur played with the fingers of Merlin's right hand. Arthur seemed a little shy, and Merlin liked that. He found pretty much everything about the man attractive, and the feel of his hand around Merlin's was doing funny things to his senses. 

"This is a really unusual ring," Arthur suddenly commented, tracing the gold etching on the band around Merlin's ring finger.   
  
"It was my father's. He died shortly after I was born," Merlin told him. "I've worn this since my sixteenth birthday."  
  
"I bet you miss not having a father," Arthur replied, his eyes soft. "My mother died when I was born, and I certainly miss having a mother."   
  
Merlin nodded as something else inside of him clicked into place. That seemed to be happening a lot since he'd met Arthur.  
  
"Fancy some ice cream?" he asked, wanting to prolong the date as long as he could.  
  
"Sure."   
  
They walked to a shop a few doors down and bought cones to eat while sitting on an outside bench. Merlin tried not to stare as Arthur chased a drip of chocolate around his sugar cone with his tongue. Arthur questioned him about his friends and family, and Merlin found himself telling all about his hometown of Ealdor and his best mate Will. Arthur told Merlin a bit about Leon and Percy, and how Leon and he used to date but were now just best friends. "We love each other, but not like that. There wasn't any spark," Arthur explained. "It was really hard to let each other go romantically but hang onto one another as friends."  
  
"I'll bet it was," Merlin sympathized. "I'm glad Will's straight...I don't think I'd want to have that option of bringing sex into the mix. It would be weird."  
  
It became late, and they finally hailed separate cabs, as they were going in opposite directions. Merlin really wanted a goodnight kiss from Arthur, but the circumstances weren't right. They were still new to each other, and the street was a bit crowded.  
  
Arthur promised to see Merlin on Sunday, and he climbed into his taxi, waving goodbye.  
  
Merlin thought of Arthur all the way home and until he fell asleep.


	2. Getting Acquainted

Merlin wasn't sure what he'd expected a picnic to be like, but it wasn't this. Arthur had picked him up on Sunday and driven them out into the countryside. He'd packed a huge basket full of all kinds of fruits, cheeses, breads, wine, and various other gourmet things, and spread a large, soft blanket on the grass in a beautiful pasture full of wildflowers. He'd even thought to bring pillows.   
  
After eating and talking for a long time, Merlin finally got up the nerve to kiss Arthur, because Lord knew that's all he'd been thinking about for the past hour. The first couple of brushes of their lips were soft, smooth, and tasted of wine and cheese. When Arthur's tongue ventured past Merlin's lips, desire bloomed from the top of Merlin's head to the tips of his toes. He found he couldn't get enough of Arthur's mouth and tongue. Every time they pulled apart, he kept diving in for more.   
  
"I think I'm addicted," he finally said, after sucking the last bit of wine off Arthur's tongue.  
  
"Mmm," Arthur said, smiling up at him lazily. "S'okay with me."  
  
Merlin propped himself on his elbow and stared down at Arthur. He looked so beautiful with the sunlight on his hair, lying there all loose-limbed and sexy. "Oh, so you don't mind if I crave the taste of your mouth morning, noon, and night? That I'd do anything to get a fix?"  
  
Arthur grinned mischievously. "I'll feed your addiction," he promised, grasping Merlin's shirt and pulling him in for another, long, open-mouthed kiss. When they broke apart this time, Arthur's eyes looked a little dazed when they opened, and then widened as they wandered upward, past Merlin's face.  
  
"Er, Merlin?"  
  
"Yeah?" Merlin asked, contemplating kissing Arthur again.   
  
"Are you afraid of...cows?"  
  
"Um, no. Why?"  
  
Arthur swallowed. "Well, I am. And there's...one watching us now."  
  
Slowly, Merlin looked over his shoulder to find a very large bovine staring down at them.  
  
Merlin could feel Arthur's heartbeat racing against his own chest. "Don't worry. I don't think they're dangerous," Merlin assured Arthur, although it was a little disconcerting to have the large animal standing over them.  
  
Arthur still stared at the cow. "Uh...could you get rid of him? Please?"  
  
Merlin twisted round again. The brown and white cow seemed content to simply stand there and watch. "Shoo--shoo, cow, shoo!" Merlin said. The cow leaned down and gave Merlin a long lick up the side of his face.  
  
"EW!" Merlin scrunched his nose up. "Ick! Get! Get, old bossy or whatever your name is! Go on!" Merlin flailed his arms, and the cow backed up. Arthur lay frozen to the spot on the ground. Merlin got to his feet and clapped his hands, shooing the cow until it finally ambled away, looing loudly.  
  
Merlin fell back to his knees and laughed.

"Are you okay?" Merlin asked Arthur, when he noticed he wasn't laughing with him.  
  
Arthur took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Yeah. I--I didn't know there were cows around here. The man who owns the property didn't tell me that when I asked if we could picnic here."  
  
"So you don't like them, yeah?" Merlin ventured. He'd never known anyone to be afraid of a cow before. They seemed like big, dumb, harmless animals to him. I mean, what could a cow do to you, nuzzle you to death?  
  
"I really, really, don't," Arthur said a bit unevenly. He sat up, rubbing his hands over his face. "I know it sounds stupid, but when my sister and I were kids, there were these cows at my Aunt Viv's where we spent part of our summers. And Uncle Agravaine always said they ate little kids." He looked at Merlin. "God, I feel like such an idiot telling you this!" He shook his head and looked away. "One night my cousin Val--much older and really mean--locked me in the barn with them. I was terrified. Of course, they didn't do anything but moo at me, but still-- I was sure they were going to eat me. Father found me in the morning, an hysterical mess, having spent the entire night staring at the cows while clutching a pitchfork. Val was whipped within an inch of his life, but fuck me! I've never been able to be around a cow since."  
  
Merlin listened to all this with a kind of fascination, mainly because Arthur seemed such a together bloke that Merlin frankly had trouble picturing him being afraid of  _anything_ , much less a  _cow_. When he saw that Arthur looked like he was ready to sink into the ground with humiliation, Merlin opened his mouth and offered, "I'm afraid of squirrels."  
  
Arthur blinked at him. "Squirrels?"  
  
"Yeah. I hate the buggers. We once had a rabid one in our backyard, and I was terrified of it. Uncle Gaius yelled at us kids to get into the house, and he killed it with a shovel."  
  
"Huh," Arthur said, mouth open. "Well. I guess we all have our fears, don't we."  
  
Merlin nodded seriously. "I guess we do." They both suddenly broke into mad grins.  
  
"I'd suggest we make out some more, but I'm afraid the cow from hell will come back," Arthur said, getting to his knees and gathering up the food. "How about I show you the house I'm thinking about buying? It's the next property over."  
  
Merlin readily agreed, and they packed up the basket and folded the blanket, putting it all in the trunk before walking down the road about half a mile to the next gravel driveway.

At the end of the drive sat a small farmhouse which had to be at least fifty years old.  
  
"Wow, I hope you're good at renovating," Merlin commented, then cringed. "Sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. It looks like a great place."  
  
To Merlin's relief, Arthur only laughed. "I know it needs work, but that's part of its charm. And there are some things I can do. I know a bit about carpentry. And my mate Leon--I told you about him--he's good with plumbing. And Percy, the third guy in our firm, he paints houses on the side sometimes. So as long as I'm willing to provide plenty of beer, I have the workers to help me out. But come see it up close. I still haven't made a final decision."  
  
Merlin was a bit flattered at Arthur asking his opinion. He followed him around the house, looking at things like structure and such, relieved that the place seemed more sound than he'd thought at first glance, before allowing himself to admire the large backyard and shade trees.  
  
"I figure my chickens can run about back here," Arthur said, a twinkle in his eyes.  
  
"And I suppose you'll give these chickens names," Merlin returned, amused.   
  
"But of course! And I fully expect you to come see my goats. I'll give you the honour of naming them."   
  
Arthur grinned, then sighed, raising his eyes to the tree tops that were rustling in the breeze. "I wish I had the key so I could show you the inside. It's really in pretty good shape. There are three bedrooms and two and a half baths, a large living room, and the kitchen is pretty big. It, more than any other room, needs a new paint job. I love the fact that there are two sets of stairways. One from the front and one from the back."  
  
Merlin studied Arthur's rapt expression. "Looks like you love the place already."  
  
Arthur looked at him, surprised. "I do."  
  
Merlin nodded, and Arthur hugged him. "I really, really want this place," he whispered in Merlin's ear, making him shudder. Merlin pulled him closer, giving him a squeeze before letting him go.  
  
"You'd best buy it, then. Go on! Call your agent."  
  
Arthur's answering smile was blinding.

Since Merlin's sister lived not too far from where Arthur and Merlin had their picnic, Merlin suggested they stop and pay her a visit.  
  
Arthur's high at having spoken to his real estate agent hadn't worn off yet, and he found himself chatting easily with Elena, who was a sort of carefree, delightfully distracted woman who resembled Merlin in her aura of childish innocence.  
  
Elena was busy with her art, which consisted of molding wire into hanging sculpture. She sat under the trees in the yard of a house she shared with several people, pliers in hand, deftly twisting the wire this way and that. Arthur couldn't believe what she could do with it. Many of her painted sculptures hung from the trees--people, animals, structures--it was amazing. When Arthur told her so, she laughed delightedly.  
  
"Merlin! You've brought someone by who appreciates my art! So much better than Will."  
  
"I won't tell him you said that," Merlin replied. "He'd be absolutely heart-broken."  
  
Elena laughed again and shook her head, then tilted it to get a better look at the sculpture in her hands. "Will's too young for me," she said. "Among other things."  
  
"Two years, Elena. That's hardly too young."  
  
Arthur watched the exchange with amusement, his eyes lingering on Merlin's lithe body leaning casually against an old elm. He felt charged--a hum running through him that made him want to do crazy things, like get down on his knees and propose to Merlin. He held himself back, knowing that would be all kinds of crazy, and concentrated on the light conversation. Elena offered him a chair, and he lounged back, letting the siblings' banter wash over him as he enjoyed the mildness of the day, his mind flitting here and there to things he'd like to do to the farmhouse while he watched the breeze jostle the leaves in the trees above his head. The afternoon wore on in this way, the sun moving lazily across the sky until shadows lengthened at their feet.  
  
Merlin's voice jolted Arthur out of his reverie, or perhaps he'd fallen into a doze. "Shit! I completely forgot Gwen and Lance!"  
  
Arthur blinked to see Merlin grappling for his cell and typing madly. "I have a standing dinner with them on Sunday nights." He looked up, grinning. "Would you like to come with?"  
  
Arthur straightened in his chair, his muscles stiff. Yes, he'd definitely been dozing. "Are you certain it would be all right?"  
  
"Of course! I usually take Will along anyway." Merlin held out a hand and helped him up.  
  
"It's been delightful, Elena," Arthur said, shaking her hand. "I'm sorry if I may have fallen asleep there for a minute. It's just so pleasant out here."  
  
Elena's answering laugh was hearty and contagious, the way laughs were meant to be, Arthur thought. "You're fine, Arthur. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough around me to sleep. Merlin and I had a nice visit, didn't we, brother?" She gave Merlin a wink, and Arthur thought he saw him blushing.  
  
They walked back to the car, and Merlin gave Arthur directions for his GPS. They made it to Lance and Gwen's only slightly late.

"Hello!" Merlin bellowed when he entered the foyer of their cozy cottage without knocking. Arthur stood a little behind him, unsure of his welcome. He tended to be shy with new people, though he'd tried to overcome it in his line of work. He didn't think he was imagining it, though, when Gwen's face fell a bit at seeing him. She quickly recovered.  
  
"Arthur, isn't it?" she held out her hand. "Welcome."  
  
"I hope this isn't an imposition, Merlin said--" Arthur began, but Gwen squeezed his arm and brought him forward into the living area. "Of course it isn't. Merlin knows that all his friends are welcome here."  
  
In the living area, Arthur saw Lance with Gareth tucked under his arm like a football. They had evidently been rough-housing before their arrival. To his side stood another man--fit, mid-height, affable face.  
  
"This is our friend, Percival Crawly," Lance made introductions upon seeing Arthur. "Remember, I mentioned that your firm helped him not too long ago, Arthur?"  
  
Arthur shook the man's hand, smiling. "Oh, yes. Was it Percy Weston or Leon Fitz who took your case?"  
  
"It was Weston," Percival answered, shaking his hand, green eyes friendly. "I recall we had a bit of a problem with our first names. Confusion and all that. But most people call me C."  
  
This Percy looked nothing like Arthur's giant of a partner, but he had a likable look to him. "C it is, then," Arthur smiled.  
  
Arthur noticed Merlin had an odd look on his face when he greeted C, who seemed extremely happy to see Merlin. Arthur could tell they knew one another well.  
  
"I didn't realize you were back in town," Merlin said after the greetings were over with, which, for Merlin, consisted of a hug that lasted way too long by Arthur's count.  
  
"Got back just last night. I wanted to ring you, but I'd lost your number along with my other contacts when my mobile tumbled into a toilet during a pub crawl." C's eyes crinkled at the edges. "I ran into Lance this morning while grocery shopping, and he invited me for dinner." C looked as though he were going to say something else. He leaned toward Merlin, his eyes softening, but just then Gwen announced loudly that the food was ready, and Gareth wiggled out of his father's arms and went running for the dining room shouting, "Spaghetti!"

Somehow Arthur ended up seated across from Merlin, with C on his left. From this vantage point, he could plainly see all twenty-three times during the meal that the man touched Merlin.  
  
Evidently, Merlin enjoyed C's sense of humor enough to laugh easily at pretty much everything he said. Lance kept Arthur busy with general banter, and between answering his queries on this and that and trying to keep up with what was going on across the table, Arthur found himself quite exhausted by the time the meal was over.  
  
All in all, what started out as a very promising date with Merlin had turned into quite a shambles by the end of the evening. C dominated Merlin in a manner that alternately had Arthur's blood boiling and his stomach/heart aching. The one card he still held was that Merlin had arrived via Arthur; therefore, he would be leaving via Arthur, and they would have some time alone together. That idea crumbled when it was somehow revealed that Arthur lived across town from Merlin while C lived only two streets away.  
  
"No reason for you to have to take him all the way home and then backtrack when I am so close," C offered reasonably.  
  
Arthur had had quite enough. Merlin's face showed uncertainty, as if he didn't necessarily want to go with C, but he also didn't want to put Arthur out.  
  
"There is a reason, actually," Arthur spoke up, quite loudly. So loudly, in fact, that Gwen looked up from where she knelt washing Gareth's spaghetti-covered face with a flannel.  
  
C's rather expressive eyebrows went up. "Oh?"  
  
"Merlin and I are on a date, and that date isn't over with yet." He turned to Lance. "It's been a lovely evening, but I think it's time we go. Merlin?"  
  
Merlin's answering grin was so bright, that the ache in Arthur's chest that had started up sometime during dinner dispelled immediately.  
  
"Terrific seeing you again, C," Merlin said, lithely side-stepping the shocked man's attempt at an embrace so that it turned into more of a half-squeeze to the shoulder.  
  
"Oh, uh, well, all right, Merlin, but can I have your mobile number? I'd love to get together soon." C began fumbling in his pocket.  
  
"Give yours to Lance, and I'll be in touch," Merlin said, slipping his arm through Arthur's where he waited at the door. "Gwen, I'll give you a ring tomorrow! Thanks for the meal! Bye, all."  
  
They escaped outdoors and didn't speak until they were back on the main road.

"God, Arthur," Merlin said, slumping a little in the passenger seat of Arthur's BMW. "I'm so glad you still wanted to drive me home."  
  
Arthur glanced at him. "Oh? I wasn't sure if it would be welcome. You seemed to be enjoying getting reacquainted with C."  
  
"He's all right, but I didn't want to end our evening."  
  
Arthur smiled. "Good. I'm glad, because I didn't want to end it, either. How about a drink?"  
  
Arthur drove them to a little pub close to Merlin's apartment. After they'd gotten drinks and found a booth, Merlin told Arthur how he'd met Gwen at uni and been friends with her since, and they laughed a bit about C and his behavior.   
  
"We dated a bit before he left town," Merlin told Arthur, poking an ice cube in his drink and then sucking the tip of his finger. Arthur tried not to stare, but he found Merlin's fingers entrancing. "It was fine...comfortable. But it seemed pretty obvious tonight that C wants to strike something up again, and I don't think I'm up for that."  
  
Arthur scooted closer to Merlin in the booth. "Frankly, I'm glad to hear it," he said, before running his lips over Merlin's cheek. Merlin let out a puff of breath, turned his head, and met Arthur's mouth greedily. A moment later, and they were snogging a little too enthusiastically for public, and Arthur had become well-acquainted with Merlin's artful tongue.  
  
"Come," Arthur said, taking Merlin's hand, "I'll walk you home."   
  
In front of Merlin's building, Merlin turned to Arthur. "Come up?" he asked, his eyes two pools of promise that went straight to Arthur's groin.  
  
Arthur stepped forward and gave him a gentle kiss, rubbing their noses together before moving back. "I want to, Merlin," he said, his voice gruff with need. "You don't know how much." He looked down where he'd clasped Merlin's hands in his. "But I really would like to take this slowly because you really, really matter to me." He looked back up, hoping Merlin wouldn't take it all the wrong way. He wasn't sure what he saw in Merlin's eyes, but he didn't think it was hurt or anger. "Would you have dinner with me one night this week? Please?"  
  
Merlin smiled slowly. "How about Wednesday?" he asked, curling his fingers around Arthur's.  
  
"Wednesday sounds brilliant." Arthur smiled back.

***

"For Pete's sake, Lance, what were you thinking?" Merlin asked as he sat at the kitchen table, his papers spread around him, phone tucked against his shoulder.   
  
"You don't seriously think it was all my idea?" Lance asked with a huff. "You know Gwen was behind it. She thinks you're lonely, so she's always harping on how we need to fix you up. When I ran into Percy--er, _C_ \-- at the store, it just seemed like the thing to do. You did date him, after all."  
  
Merlin sighed. "I know you two couldn't have known about Arthur, but that was certainly uncomfortable--being there between the two of them like some kind of...oh, I don't know."  
  
"Girl?" Lance offered, and Merlin could hear the grin in his voice.  
  
"I was thinking more along the lines of 'piece of meat,'" Merlin answered.  
  
"I don't think it was as bad as all that. So, you like this Arthur bloke?"  
  
"Very much."  
  
"He seems nice enough. Of course, nothing says you have to dive into a relationship. You could play the field. Date C a bit, too. I had to give him your number, by the way."  
  
"What?" Merlin exclaimed, almost knocking over his coffee. "What the hell did you do that for?"  
  
"He asked, and he knew I had it. What was I supposed to say?"  
  
"Terrific," Merlin muttered.  
  
There was a rustling noise, and Gwen's voice came on the line, "Did you shag Arthur, Merlin? Inquiring minds want to know."  
  
"No, I did not! Christ, Gwen, it was our first date!"  
  
"He wouldn't do it, then?" Gwen asked knowingly.  
  
"Gwen, are you insinuating that I'm a slut?" Merlin grouched, and Gwen laughed.  
  
"I'm not. Did you ever sleep with C? And I hate that nickname, by the way. So stupid."  
  
"He has something against his name. Says Percy sounds like a bird," Merlin explained. "And no, I didn't sleep with him. We went out three or four times, and then he took that temporary job in Birmingham."  
  
"Well, I got the distinct impression he came back here wanting to hook back up with you," Gwen told him. "After you left, he kept asking us about Arthur...how long you've been seeing him. Sounds like you have two suitors on your hands, you desirable wench!"  
  
Merlin groaned. "Not exactly what I want."   
  
"Which one of them do you prefer?" Gwen asked.   
  
"God, Arthur, definitely. He's so sweet, Gwen! You can't imagine."  
  
"Well, I liked what I saw of him, but you might not want to completely blow C off. You never know. Keep your options open, Merlin. Oh, shit...Gareth's raising hell about something. Here's Lance."  
  
"Sorry about that," Lance said when he came back on. "Gwen snatched the phone from out of my hand."  
  
"It's okay. Listen, I'm going to hang up now. I want to get some writing done."  
  
When Merlin disconnected, he looked at his recent notes and sighed before getting to work.

 

***

Arthur dug his spoon into the bananas foster Haagen Dazs and put a large bite of it in his mouth. He sat cross-legged on Leon's couch, wearing his red long johns.  
  
"You look like a big kid," Leon commented from his chair. "And pass that over before you eat all of it."   
  
Arthur passed it and picked up the chocolate from the coffee table.  
  
"I hope you know we'll have to spend an extra hour in the gym after work tomorrow," Leon said. "And I have a date this weekend!"  
  
"With Terrance?" Arthur asked, licking his spoon.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And I can't go to the gym after work. I have a date with Merlin." Arthur switched to the java chip.  
  
"What's got you on the ice cream binge?" Leon asked. "You never have told me what happened on your date Sunday."  
  
"I did so," Arthur retorted. "You just don't listen."  
  
"You told me about the cow." Leon shifted in his seat. "And meeting Merlin's sister. What's got you so worked up?"  
  
"We went over to Merlin's friends' for dinner. They didn't know I was coming, and they had one of Merlin's ex's over as a surprise. It was weird." Arthur put the ice cream down and grabbed the throw off the back of the couch, wrapping it around himself. "It was really obvious he wants to get back with Merlin."  
  
"How did Merlin act?" Leon asked, setting his ice cream beside Arthur's and climbing onto the couch with him. Arthur leaned into Leon, arranging the throw over the two of them.   
  
"He was friendly, but when we left, he told me he was glad I made it clear to the guy that we were on a date and weren't finished with it yet."  
  
"Well, that's good, isn't it?" Leon smoothed Arthur's hair away from his face.  
  
Arthur nodded, tucking his cold hands between his legs.  
  
"So...why the ice cream?" Leon looked down at Arthur. "You know you only binge Haagen Dazs when you're feeling insecure."  
  
"He's just so...special, Leon. I don't want to mess things up," Arthur admitted.  
  
Leon wrapped his arms around his friend, squeezing him close. "You won't. You're special, too, Arthur. And don't you forget it."

 


	3. Falling

Arthur took Merlin to a casual deli-style restaurant where they found a back booth and ordered large salads and drinks. Arthur found himself staring at Merlin’s hands, wanting to hold them and kiss them. He blushed when he realized he hadn’t been listening and Merlin was looking at him expectantly.

“Sorry, what?”

“Is something wrong?” Merlin asked, putting down his fork.

“No, no! I—I just kind of, well, zoned out. Looking at your hands.”

“Merlin looked down at his hands. “What about them? I washed them…”

Arthur laughed. “No, silly. They aren’t dirty. It’s just that—I like them. I really, really like them.”

Merlin looked perplexed. “You do? Huh.” He studied them, turning them this way and that. “What is it that you like about them, exactly? I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone show an interest in them before.”

Arthur blushed deeper and moved restlessly in his seat. “I just think they’d be nice to …hold.”

Merlin grinned, stretching his arms out across the table. “Okay, well, hold them, then.”

Arthur put down his fork and reached out, taking Merlin’s hands in his. They were warm and the tops were soft, with a sprinkling of hair on them. He squeezed them gently.

“I hope they aren’t disappointing,” Merlin said, still smiling.

Arthur looked up at him. “They’re even better than I imagined,” he said, knowing he had to have the most love-sick look imaginable on his face. He simply couldn’t help it.

Merlin’s expression softened, his grin melting down to a lovely smile. He laced his fingers with Arthur’s.

“You held my hand once before, I think,” Merlin pointed out.

“Yes, but my brain was too addled with your other fine qualities for me to pay attention.”

“Such as my coloring?” Merlin offered, bringing up Arthur’s words from the day they met.

Arthur took a breath. “Don’t tease me,” he said, his eyes beseeching, and Merlin sobered, a giddy feeling conjuering in his gut.

“I had also been thinking…” Arthur began, hesitantly, “about what it would be like to have your hands touching me.” His voice faltered a bit. “All over.”

He watched Merlin’s eyes darken and his tongue come out to wet his lips. “Arthur, you’re making it very difficult to concentrate on eating, here.”

Arthur nodded slowly. He let go of Merlin’s hands and took up his fork again. “Is your salad good?”

Merlin was staring. “Huh? Oh, right. Yeah. It’s very good.”

“I’d like you to meet my friends. Maybe join us Friday night at a pub?”

“That sounds like fun,” Merlin replied, going back to eating.

Suddenly, Arthur wanted to do something daring, like slip off his shoe and press his foot against Merlin’s crotch. But that would be completely inappropriate. He coughed and took a drink. He could feel Merlin’s eyes on him.

“I close on the house next Monday,” he told Merlin. “I’m very excited about it.”

Merlin’s answering smile was wide. “That’s terrific! Now you can pick out that chicken you’ve always wanted.”

“And the goats, don’t forget.”

“Oh, I won’t. I can’t wait to visit the goats.”

“I hope you’ll visit me, too, while you’re at it,” Arthur replied.

“I will,” Merlin nodded. “After the goats.”

“Of course.” Arthur raised a brow. “If you have any special skills such as painting or carpentry, speak up. I’ll have to host a few fixer-upper parties in future.”

Merlin seemed to be giving it some thought. “I don’t have any skills like that, per se. But I’m a great cheer leader, and I give a terrific back rub.”

Arthur choked a little on his drink. “I’ll—keep that in mind.” Their eyes met again, and Arthur felt the heat ratcheting up.

When Arthur drove Merlin home that evening, they sat in the car snogging for long, fervent moments. Merlin’s mouth was a delightful place to explore, and Arthur couldn’t keep his tongue out of it.

“Oh, fuck, Arthur…” Merlin moaned, catching Arthur’s bottom lip between his teeth. Arthur had his hands full of Merlin’s hair, and the stick shift dug painfully into his side as he tried to bring them closer together.

“I guess you’d better go,” Arthur breathed, finally. “We have work tomorrow. But you’ll meet us at the pub Friday night? I’ll text you the address.”

“Okay, sounds good,” Merlin gasped. Arthur reached out and tried to flatten Merlin’s hair back into some semblance of neatness, but it was a lost cause. Merlin pressed his lips to Arthur’s once more before climbing out of the car, and Arthur watched him walk inside his building before pulling away from the curb.

***

 _Arthur Pendragon is going to be the death of me_ , Merlin thought as he yanked his pants down and began wanking furiously. He wanted the man so badly, he’d had a perpetual hard-on all evening. At one point, he was certain the waitress noticed it. Yet Arthur seemed oblivious. Even after all their flirting, Arthur didn’t seem inclined to take things back to one of their flats. He was evidently perfectly serious about moving slowly. Thinking about what Arthur had said about Merlin’s hands, Merlin jerked and came all over them. If he didn’t get said hands on Arthur soon, he was going to curl up and die.

“You are not going to die,” Elena told him the next evening on the phone. “You can wait a while to have sex, Merlin. You aren’t a teenager.”

“I feel like one,” Merlin told her. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone this badly.”

“Get your head out of your pants, brother. You can do it.”

Merlin grunted. “Say, I’m meeting Arthur and his mates for a drink Friday evening. Why don’t you come, too? Then I won’t feel so weird, not knowing anyone but Arthur.”

“I guess I could do. You aren’t bringing Will, are you?” Elena asked suspiciously.

“Not if you don’t want, but you really should give him a chance sometime.”

“No. I don’t need a man in my life.”

“Okay, okay.” Merlin rolled his eyes. “But you will come?”

“Anything for you, Merlin.”

***

“Morgana! What are you doing here?” Arthur asked, standing up from where he’d been seated at his desk. It was late Friday afternoon, and he’d been counting the minutes until he could leave and meet Merlin and the others at the pub.

“I’ve left Isaac,” Morgana stated bluntly. “I can’t make this farce of a marriage work, Arthur.”

“Shit,” Arthur moved around the desk and wrapped his arms around her. “Does Father know?”

“He probably does by now. I’m sure Isaac called him the moment I walked out. I’ve turned my mobile off.” The way Morgana was clinging to Arthur belied the distinct edge in her voice.

Arthur kissed her cheek. “You can stay with me, of course.”

Morgana smiled. “I’d hoped you’d offer.”

“Here’s my key. Go get yourself settled. I’ll be home in a couple of hours. Oh, I’m meeting some of my friends at the pub tonight. You can come along if you want. I’d like you to meet the bloke I’ve been seeing.”

Morgana’s face softened. “I’d love to meet him, Arthur. You’re really crazy about him, aren’t you?”

Arthur nodded. “I’m absolutely mad over him, Morgana.”

***

Arthur and Morgana arrived at the pub just after Leon and Percy. Leon had Terrance with him, and Arthur sent a little smirk Leon’s way, letting him know he thought Terrance was really fit. Leon made a face that plainly said, _shut up, you wanker_ , and put his arm around Terrance in a bold attempt to show Arthur he would not let him embarrass him. Arthur grinned. Leon was extremely fun to provoke. Because he really was a bit of a wanker, Arthur approached and boldly held out his hand to Terrance.

“Hello! You must be Terrance. I’m Arthur.” Terrance stood and shook his hand. He was dark skinned and had large, brown, doe eyes that Arthur had heard Leon swoon over more than once in their conversations.

“Arthur,” I’ve heard so much about you,” Terrance said pleasantly.

Arthur looked over at Leon, feigning surprise. “Leon! You didn’t. How embarrassing!” Leon’s eyes widened, and Arthur turned back to Terrance. “He really shouldn’t tell people about our past relationship, especially since it was mostly sexual.”

“Arthur!” Leon growled. Arthur just smiled.

“Leon was such a mad man in bed, but I suppose you know that.”

Arthur, of course, knew that Terrance knew no such thing, since he and Leon hadn’t been to bed together yet.

“Arthur…” Leon’s menacing tone was almost enough to stop Arthur. Almost. He opened his mouth to say something else, and then spotted Merlin come in the door with Elena. He excused himself and made his way through the crowd.

“Merlin! I’m so glad you brought Elena!” He kissed her cheek. “Come over to our table. I was just giving Leon a horrible time in front of his new boyfriend. He’s ready to kill me. Oh, and my sister is unexpectedly in town. And my other partner at the firm, Percy, his here, too.” By this time, they’d maneuvered their way across the room, and Arthur made introductions.

“It’s so wonderful to meet you, Merlin!” Morgana said, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it. “Arthur talks about you constantly.”

Arthur shot Morgana a horrified look, just as Leon piped up, “ _Constantly._ She isn’t exaggerating, Merlin.”

“Okay, okay, I suppose I deserved that. Can we just order drinks now?” Arthur groused. They all settled down in their seats.

‘I didn’t realize you were coming for a visit,” Merlin told Morgana. “Arthur said you live in Sheffield?”

“Yes, well, my visit was rather impromptu. I’m going to be staying with Arthur for a bit,” Morgana answered.

Morgana and Elena got on famously, and soon were deep in discussion about some lesbian author who’d written something or other, and that was going to be at a book signing that weekend. Happy Morgana was making a friend but uninterested in their conversation, Arthur tuned them out, watching Merlin interact with Leon, Terrance, and Percy instead. Of course they liked him; Arthur wasn’t surprised.  Merlin laughed with Percy, and listened to Leon tell stories about Arthur, and all the while Merlin’s shoulder brushed Arthur’s and occasionally their eyes would meet, and Arthur felt sparks fly through him each and every time. After a while, Arthur got up to go to the bar and replenish his drink. Merlin followed.

“Your mates are nice,” Merlin told him as they made their way around groups of chatting people. The Jousting Knight was always full on Friday evenings, and there was very little walking room.

“I can tell they like you,” Arthur said. “I think you’ve passed Leon’s inspection.”’

“Brilliant! I wouldn’t want anything to stand between me and your goats,” Merlin intoned, and Arthur threw back his head and laughed.

At the bar, while they stood waiting for their drinks, Arthur became aware of a pretty girl nearby obviously trying to spurn the advances of the drunk guy beside her.

“Come on, hows about a bit of a snog? You’re a right pretty bird,” the man said, weaving on his feet. Arthur could smell the whiskey on the drunk's breath from where he stood.

“I said no, thank you. Would you please go away?” the girl entreated him.

The man put his hand on her shoulder, and then it slipped down to her breast, and the girl gasped, trying to lean back, but the bar was in the way.

“Say,” Arthur said, stepping in between them, forcing the drunk to take a step back and remove his hand from her breast, “The lady asked you to please leave her alone.”

“So what d’you have t’do with it?” the man asked belligerently. “Get out’ve my way, ya posh tosser!”

“I’ll have to get the bouncer to throw you out if you don’t leave peaceably,” Arthur told him with steely calm.

“Fuck off, why don’t you?” The man got into Arthur’s face. His breath was truly terrible.

Arthur stepped back, but stayed close to the girl, who gathered her things and slipped off the bar stool.

The drunk made a grab for her, but Arthur took hold of his arm. Enraged, the man turned and threw a punch. Arthur saw it coming, and side-stepped it. It clipped his chin, but didn’t do anything but knock Arthur slightly off balance. Arthur grabbed the man’s arm, twisting it behind his back and pushing him toward the door.

“Awright, awright, I’ll go on me own!” the man bellowed, and Arthur let up on him.  Faster than Arthur would’ve thought he could move in his inebriated state, the man swung around and slammed his fist into Arthur’s jaw. Pain jolted through him as he felt himself fly backward, hitting his head on a table. The last thing he remembered thinking before everything went dark was he should never have trusted a drunk man.


	4. A Head Injury

 

Arthur awoke in hospital. He blinked several times, everything around him blurry and strange, and the bright lights hurting his eyes. A familiar face came into focus—it was Leon, leaning over him, just inches from his nose. “Fuck,” Arthur croaked. “No wonder you’re blurry. Back up, git!”

Leon did, and Arthur could see more clearly. “What happened?” he asked irritably, feeling as though he was waking from a night of pub crawling with a terrific hangover.

Leon stepped away from the gurney Arthur lay on and pulled up a stool. Taking Arthur’s hand, he squeezed it. “Fuck, Art, you scared us all shitless. Morgana’s having a nervous breakdown in the ladies-- Merlin’s sister is trying to calm her down.”

Arthur stared at him. “Are you going to tell me what happened, or not?”  He struggled to sit up. “Where’s Merlin? I think I’m supposed to meet him somewhere.”

Leon’s hands pressed on his shoulders. “Lie down, idiot! Merlin’s here. He went to make a couple of phone calls.”

Arthur relaxed back on the gurney. “I don’t remember anything.”

“You got into it with some drunk. From what I heard, he was bothering a girl, and you stepped up like some knight in shining armor. The guy decked you, and you hit your head. You have a concussion, the doctor says. They’re going to take you for a CT scan.”

“Must be why it feels like someone’s drilling a hole in my brain,” Arthur replied, wincing. “So we were at a bar?”

Leon nodded, looking concerned. “The Jousting Knight.”

Arthur frowned, annoyed that he couldn’t remember. He spotted Merlin coming through the double doors and pushed up on his elbows, only to collapse again when dizziness overtook him.

“Merlin, I’m sorry,” Arthur said when Merlin drew near, his face drawn. “Am I late? Shit, I didn’t stand you up, did I?” Merlin looked to Leon, then back at Arthur.

“Everything’s fine. You didn’t stand me up. How do you feel?” Merlin’s voice sounded soft and careful, and Arthur just felt so fucking confused. Had Leon said he was in hospital?

“Like a truck ran over my head.” Arthur winced. “Oh my God, Leon…” he motioned with his hand, and Leon must have understood him, because he produced a bedpan just in time for Arthur to lean over and vomit into it.

A doctor appeared with a nurse, and she took over holding the bedpan, telling Leon and Merlin to please go to the waiting area. “We’re going to take Mr. Pendragon for his CT scan to make sure there was no bleeding in his brain.”

Arthur closed his eyes, suddenly too sick to concentrate on anything, and allowed the hospital staff to take over.

Merlin watched Arthur being wheeled away, then looked to Leon. “What did he say when he came to?”

“He asked where he was. He doesn’t recall being at the bar.”

Merlin shuddered. “God, when his head hit that table, it sounded so _loud_!” He had been terrified that Arthur’s skull had cracked open. He couldn’t believe it when he got closer and didn’t find blood all over the floor. The bar had erupted in shouts, and security had appeared to drag the drunk who had decked Arthur away. Arthur’s friends had gathered round him, all of them relieved to find him breathing and relatively in one piece. That relief had quickly turned to fear when Arthur didn’t come to, even after a waitress brought a wet cloth and Merlin had bathed his face with it. Someone called an ambulance, and the whole thing had been a nightmare.

Leon winced, unconsciously wringing his hands. “I saw him fly back into it. That guy really hit him hard.” He sighed. “Arthur’s always been too noble for his own good. He should’ve told the bartender to get security instead of trying to deal with the guy himself.”

Morgana came flying into the room, Elena at her heels, looking everywhere for her brother. “Where is he?” she demanded. “Where have the taken him? Leon?”

“To get a brain scan, Morgana, calm down,” Leon took her by the arms and made her look into his eyes. “He’s going to be fine. He’s concussed.” Morgana sagged a little in his grip. Her eye makeup had smeared, and Merlin guessed she’d been crying. He went to stand beside Elena.

“Fuck, this is awful.”

“He’ll be okay, Merlin,” his sister assured him. “They just have to make certain there’s no bleeding or swelling in his brain.”

“Why is Morgana falling apart, then?” Merlin looked worriedly over to where Leon had made Morgana sit down and drink some water.

Elena shook her head. “Evidently, she’s already having a hard time of it. She’s left her husband, and she just had to call her father and tell him about Arthur. She got a real ear-full about the break-up. I really started to wonder which the man was more upset about—that, or Arthur’s injury.”

“Surely he’s more worried about Arthur…” Merlin argued.

“You’d think, but he sounds like a real arse,” Elena said. “I’ve been talking to Morgana for a while. She did a very courageous thing. Evidently, her rich, bossy father pushed her into the marriage, and she just couldn’t stand it anymore.”

Merlin hated to hear that Arthur’s father was such a tyrant. “I phoned my neighbor and asked him to feed my cat tonight. I’m going to stay at Arthur’s and make sure he’s okay. That is, if they release him.”

“They will,” Elena told him, patting his arm.

Merlin went to the waiting room with the others and sat down. Percy and Terrance came from the cafeteria with coffees for everyone, asking after Arthur. Leon filled them in while Merlin said staring at his hands, worrying.

He heard Leon telling Terrance that he hoped Arthur would be released, if he he was, Leon planned to accompany him home.

“Elena, you can go home if you want,” Merlin told his sister after half an hour passed with no word. “I’ll call and tell you what’s going on.”

He saw Elena glance at Morgana, and Morgana’s pleading look. “I’ll stay,” Elena said, and took Morgana’s hand in hers.

Forty minutes or so later, a nurse appeared and told them that Arthur’s scans were good, he was feeling a little better, and he was being released. “Someone needs to watch him tonight, though. Wake him up every few hours and make sure he’s oriented.” She handed some instructions to Merlin, and Leon went to the desk to collect the discharge papers and get Arthur to sign them. He came back wheeling Arthur in a chair.

“How are you feeling?” Merlin asked quietly, and Arthur gave him a brave smile.

“A bit better, thanks.”

“Oh, Arthur!” Morgana kissed his cheek softly. “I’ve been so worried about you!”

“I’m okay, Gonny, really.” He patted her hand. His friends all exchanged looks that agreed Arthur looked like shite.

Percy and Terrance spoke to him a moment before leaving, and the other four accompanied Arthur to his flat.

“I’ll stay with you tonight, Arthur,” Leon offered when they had him settled in his pyjamas in bed.

“That won’t be necessary,” Merlin told him. “I’ve made arrangements to stay.”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Morgana asked. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of my baby brother.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I’m not a baby, and I don’t care if all of you stay, as long as you shut up about it.” He held his head in his hands, and everyone backed out the bedroom door to finish their conversation in the living room.

“I really want to stay with him,” Merlin said stubbornly.

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll go on home, then,” Leon replied. “Please call if I can do anything.”

Morgana saw him out.

“I guess you can go home now, Elena,” Merlin told his sister. “Thanks for sticking with me through all this. It wasn’t the fun night at the pub I thought it was going to be.”

“I’ll stay a bit. Morgana is so upset, and I think her father is coming over. She could use a buffer.”

Merlin would be damned if he’d let Arthur’s father cause a scene that would agitate him. He set his jaw and went to check on Arthur.

Arthur lay in bed, the desk lamp at its lowest setting. He’d been given some pain reliever, but Merlin could see the pain etched on his face. He quietly sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I sent Leon home,” he told Arthur. “I’m staying.”

Arthur smiled. “I’m glad.” He reached out and took Merlin’s hand. “I still don’t remember being in the bar.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll come to you.” Merlin looked down at their entwined hands. “Arthur, I think I should warn you that your father’s on his way over here.”

Arthur groaned. “Oh, hell. He’s going to give Morgana a hard time.” He pushed himself up, but Merlin pressed him back down.

“No, Arthur. You are not moving. Elena and I will take care of this. If your father makes a scene, we’ll simply throw him out.”

Arthur stared at him, wide-eyed, and then began to laugh. That hurt his head, and he moaned loudly. “Shit, Merlin, I don’t think you know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

“I don’t care; I’m meaner than I look,” Merlin told him. “Now, go to sleep if you want to, but know that I have to wake you every few hours. Doctor’s orders. Do you mind if I sleep in here with you?”

Arthur smiled wanly. “My plans for your first time in bed with me were nothing like this,” he said regretfully.

Merlin leaned in and kissed him gently on the mouth. “All of that can wait. Get some rest.” He got up and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.


	5. Uther's Visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is kind of short, but I thought since I had it written, I'd go ahead and post it.

 

When it came, the knock on the door was commanding and loud. Merlin opened it, taking in the formidable presence that was Uther Pendragon in one quick glance before the man pushed his way inside and demanded to know who he was.

“I’m Merlin Emrys, a friend of Arthur’s.”

“Oh, well, you may as well go home now. I’m his father.”

“I’m not leaving, but thanks anyway,” Merlin replied pleasantly, and Uther frowned.

“Where is my daughter?”

“I’m right here, Father,” Morgana appeared looking pale and subdued. “And this is Merlin’s sister, Elena.”

“Hello,” Uther said, his mouth a thin line.

“Nice to meet you,” Elena said. “We’re staying here tonight to help out with Arthur. He needs to be awakened every few hours due to his concussion.”

“I’d like to speak with my daughter alone,” Uther said. Morgana pressed her lips together, but led her father into the spare room, shutting the door behind them.

Merlin and Elena exchanged glances. They heard Uther raise his voice, and then Morgana raise hers. When Morgana began to sound hysterical, Arthur’s door opened and he stepped out, leaning against the wall. He looked like a little boy in his blue pyjamas and hair all mussed, Merlin couldn’t help thinking as he rushed to his side.

“Arthur, you shouldn’t be out of bed.”

Arthur ignored him and continued to the door of the spare room, wrenching it open. “Father, leave Morgana alone!” he demanded in a voice Merlin had never heard him use before.

Merlin came to stand behind Arthur, offering his support. Morgana turned an angry face streaked with tears toward them, and Uther stiffly crossed his arms over his broad chest.

“Morgana, stop this childish behavior right now. You will come back home with me. Your husband is waiting for you.”

“She is not going to do that,” Arthur emphatically stated before Morgana could say anything.

Merlin exchanged looks with his sister again. It was a difficult situation. Uther was their father, after all. Anyone else, and he would’ve kicked them out already.

“Arthur you keep out of this,” Uther shouted, pointing a finger at his son.

“Don’t shout at him, Father, he isn’t well!” Morgana objected icily, stepping toward him.

Arthur started to retort but suddenly sagged back against Merlin. “Dizzy,” he murmured, putting a hand to his head, and Merlin held onto him.

“And who is this man to you?” Uther demanded, turning his wrath and disapproval onto his son. “Arthur, I don’t want to hear that you’ve gone back to your deviances.”

Arthur’s face visibly blanched.

“Oh, my God! Would you just leave them alone?” Merlin exploded. “Is this how you get your way—bullying people when they’re at their physical and emotional lowest? Get the hell out of here before my sister dials the police!”

Elena had her phone out in seconds, her fingers poised over it. Uther looked from one to the other.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he said gruffly and exited the apartment with a slam of the door that shook the walls.

Merlin escorted Arthur back to bed, tucking him in. He quickly peeled off his own clothing, grabbing a pair of pyjama bottoms from Arthur’s drawer, and climbed in beside him. Arthur’s body shook, whether with rage or shock, Merlin wasn’t sure.

“Shh, it’s all right. Forget about all this and get some rest.” He pulled Arthur close to nestle in the crook of his shoulder.

“You didn’t sign up for this, Merlin,” Arthur said quietly.

“What, you mean when I agreed to meet your friends at the pub tonight? I guess I didn’t. But shit happens, Arthur.”

Arthur leaned his head back and gazed at Merlin’s face. “You told my father off.”

Merlin winced. “Sorry?”

Arthur got up on one elbow. “Don’t be. It was incredibly brave.”

“He’s just a man, Arthur,” Merlin scoffed.

“He’s an incredibly powerful man, Merlin. My father has a lot of connections. He could ruin you if he wanted to.”

Merlin settled back on the pillows, pulling Arthur more tightly against him. “Good thing I’m a budding novelist who works at home, then. Come on, Arthur. You worry too much, and you need your rest. How does your head feel?”

“A bit better,” Arthur murmured, pressing a kiss to where Merlin’s shoulder connected to his arm. “I still don’t remember everything at the pub, and it’s driving me mad. And now here you are in bed with me, without a shirt on…”

“Remembering isn’t important,” Merlin said soothingly. “And I’ll put a shirt on if it’ll make you more comfortable.”

“No,” Arthur ran his hand over Merlin’s bare chest. “I rather like it.”

Merlin chuckled. “Go to sleep. I’ve set my mobile’s alarm so I can wake you in a few hours.”

“Poor Merlin…” Arthur said, his voice sleepy. Merlin rubbed his hand up and down Arthur’s arm until he was certain he had dropped off. He was just falling asleep himself when Elena stuck her head in the door.

“Morgana’s in bed,” she whispered. “I’m going to make up one for myself on the couch and stay here. Is he all right?”

“Still kind of buggy, but he’ll be okay,” Merlin replied in a hushed tone.

“Their father’s an arse. I’ll see you in the morning.”

***

The alarm went off, and Merlin struggled awake, Arthur still cradled in his arms, his weight against him warm and comforting.

“Hey, Arthur, wake up,” he tapped Arthur’s shoulder with his free hand.

“Wha? Who…”

“It’s me, Merlin. Do you know where you are?”

Arthur rolled onto his back. “Ohhh…my head!”

“Tell me where you are, Arthur.”

Arthur blinked into the darkness. “My…bed. Merlin? Did we…?”

Merlin laughed, “No, Arthur, we didn’t. Do you remember anything about last night?”

Arthur rubbed his eyes. “Mm…was Father here? And Morgana’s upset.” He tried to sit up.

“That’s right. That’s good. You can go back to sleep now. Morgana’s fine. My sister’s been with her. You have a concussion, and I had to wake you.”

Arthur lay back down. “K,” he mumbled, rolling over and almost immediately beginning to snore softly. Merlin spooned him and settled himself again.

The same thing happened the next two times Merlin awoke Arthur. He groggily acknowledged being in his room, and after a couple more questions, Merlin allowed him to go back to sleep.


	6. Complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please see the notes I added to chapter one concerning the confusion on the two Percys.

When morning came, Arthur was able to get out of bed and shower without getting dizzy or feeling that he needed to vomit. As Merlin sat and had coffee with him before leaving for his own place, Arthur’s phone buzzed. He picked it up.

“It’s Leon,” he said, thumbing it on. “Hey, Leon.”

“How are you feeling? I’ve been worried about you.”

“I’m much better. My father came by last night to berate Morgana, but Merlin chased him away.”

“Really? Wow. He’s fierce.”

“I’ll tell him you said so.”

“Mind if I stop by later for a bit?”

“Since when do you have to ask? I’ll be here.”

They exchanged goodbyes.

“Leon says you’re fierce, Merlin, for standing up to my dad.” Arthur smiled at him across the table.

“Honestly, you make him sound like a monster.” Merlin stood and rinsed his cup out in the sink. Crossing to Arthur, he leaned down and kissed him gently. “Don’t overdo it today, okay?”

“I won’t,” Arthur promised, standing up. “Honestly, Merlin, thank you for all you’ve done.” He took Merlin’s hands, squeezing them. “You really went above and beyond what’s expected in the early dating stage.”

Merlin put his hand on Arthur’s cheek. “In case you haven’t figured it out, I really care about you, Arthur Pendragon.” He kissed Arthur again, and Arthur pulled him in closer, palming the back of his neck as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Arthur could feel Merlin’s heart beating against his chest, the warmth of his skin beneath his shirt, and his soft hair between his fingers. He ran his tongue along the inside of Merlin’s mouth, tasting the coffee he’d just drunk. Merlin responded, breathing in deeply through his nose and sliding his tongue along Arthur’s.

“Good grief, can’t you make it to the bedroom?” Morgana’s voice came from the hallway.

Arthur and Merlin broke apart, looking her way.

“I was just going,” Merlin told her.

“Looked to me like you were closer to coming,” Morgana replied with a cheeky grin.

“I can tell _you’re_ feeling better,” Arthur told her.

“It’s amazing what a fifth of scotch and a good night’s sleep can do for you.” She looked around. “Where’s Elena?”

“She had to get home,” Merlin replied, his hands sliding down to hold Arthur around the waist. “She left fairly early this morning.”

“She is so kind and funny,” Morgana said. “I really enjoyed talking with her.”

“I think she liked you a lot, too,” Merlin told her, kissing Arthur on the cheek and heading for the door.

“You two are just so cute together,” Morgana replied, heading for the coffee pot.

“I think I like you better when you’re distraught,” Arthur announced. He waved Merlin goodbye, shut the door, and turned back to his sister. “Are you going to call Father?”

“No, I’m not. He’s got Isaac over there, and I don’t want to speak to him. I’m going to hide out here for a while and figure out what I want to do.”

“Fine by me,” Arthur replied, picking up his mug.

“And how are you feeling?” Morgana asked, her eyes softening. “I was so scared, Arthur.”

“I’m fine, Gonny. Honestly. Just a bit of a headache.”

“You’re positive?”

“Positive.”

"And do you remember what happened now?"

"Most of it."

“In that case…” Morgana slapped him, hard, on the arm.

“Ow!” Arthur moved away from her. “What was that for?”

“For having to save the world. Why in the hell did you do that? That’s the reason bars have bouncers, you twit!”

“The girl was obviously upset, and that drunk wouldn’t leave her alone! It was the right thing to do.”

“I don’t want you getting yourself killed doing the _right_ thing, Arthur. We were all so upset. Your head made a sound like a watermelon splitting when it hit that table. I can’t believe you weren’t bleeding all over the place.” She shuddered, and Arthur put his arm around her.

“Can we just put this behind us, please? Leon’s coming over later, by the way. Maybe you can try to turn him straight.”

Morgana’s face transformed from upset to a little dreamy. “If only. It’s unfair that such a handsome bloke has to like men.”

“I’m sure many say the same about me,” Arthur noted, and Morgana rolled her eyes at him.

“Speaking of Leon, I’ve never seen him so pale as he was when he saw you lying on the ground. For a moment I thought he was going to fight Merlin for the right to ride in the ambulance with you.”

“Really, I thought _you_ would have fought him for that right,” Arthur replied, beginning to load the dish washer.

Morgana leaned against the counter, drinking her coffee. “I figured you’d want Merlin beside you when you opened your eyes, although I just about went nuts when we got to the hospital and I learned you hadn’t yet.” She went back to what she’d been saying. “Honestly, Arthur, Leon never even looked at his date again that night.”

“He was worried, Morgana. What’s your point?”

“Just that I think Leon is still in love with you.”

“Ridiculous.” Arthur dried off his hands and turned to her. “Leon and I decided long ago we aren’t meant to be romantically. And besides, he knows how I feel about Merlin.”

“If you say so, little brother,” Morgana shrugged, heading for the bathroom.

~~~O~~~

Merlin looked at Elena and blinked several times, his mouth open.

“Is that all you can do—blink?” she asked, bending a wire this way and that with a small pair of pliers.

“Apparently, yes,” Merlin said. He cleared his throat. “Since when are you…have you… uh. Yeah.”

Elena sighed. “Since when have I been attracted to women? I don’t know…maybe high school? College? It’s not all the time. I mean, you know I like men. It’s just that lately I’m thinking maybe I like women a little more, you know?”

“Oh, I definitely know,” Merlin laughed nervously. “But you’re saying you like Morgana? _Arthur’s_ Morgana?”

“Yeah,” Elena said a bit dreamily. “I do.” She smiled. “I really, really do. I just can’t stop thinking about her.”

“But she’s not…I mean, I guess she could be, but I doubt she’s…er…”

“Gay?” Elena broke into laughter. “For a gay man, you certainly have a hard time saying the word.”

Merlin looked affronted. “I do not! I just can’t believe you’re telling me this. I never knew this about you. And I don’t know much about lesbians. I don’t like to think about women naked much, particularly together.”

“I need to see her again. Can you arrange it?” Elena looked at him eagerly.

“What? No! You said you have her cell number, so you arrange it! Leave me out of this.”

“You’re so mean,” Elena huffed.

~~~O~~~

“Leon, would you please stop fussing? It’s been a week, and I’m _fine,_ dammit!”

Leon sat down on his sofa, ending his interrogation about Arthur’s eating and sleep habits. “Okay, all right. Fine.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Now, don’t be a grumpy puss,” Arthur said wheedlingly. He sat down next to his friend, putting a hand on his knee. “I know you’re just trying to take care of me, but I don’t need you to. You’ve been doing it on and off all week, and it’s unnecessary!” He patted Leon’s leg. “So what are you doing later tonight? Going out with Terrance?”

“I decided he isn’t for me,” Leon replied, looking down at his hands.

“You did? But—I thought you were really into him,” Arthur said, confused.

“You thought wrong.”

Arthur scooted closer to Leon, putting a hand to the back of his friend’s neck where the strawberry-blond curls just touched his shoulders. “What’s the matter?”

When Leon didn’t answer, Arthur reached out and pulled his face toward him. “Leon?”

And then Leon leaned in and kissed him. And kept kissing him. And Arthur was so shocked, he let him for a moment before pushing him gently away.

“Leon…”

“Before you say anything, Arthur, just listen,” Leon said hurriedly. “I know we ended things, but when you were hurt, I realized that you’re the most important person in my life. I love you, Arthur. I love you so much! And we were good together. We _are_ good together!” He tried for another kiss, but Arthur moved away.

He couldn’t believe it—Morgana had been right! It really pained him, because he and Leon had such a special relationship, and Arthur had really thought that they’d made the transition back to being friends. He’d had no idea that Leon had been harboring these feelings. Arthur looked at him unhappily.

“Please, Arthur. At least think about it.” Leon looked so upset, Arthur could only nod.

“I’m pretty sure where I stand on this, Leon, but I’ll think about it.”

Leon’s smile was brilliant.

~~O~~

“Why in the fuck did you tell him you’d think about it?” Morgana asked. She leaned across the bathroom sink and applied her lip liner with a skilled hand. Arthur sat on the closed toilet seat watching her.

“You didn’t see him, Morgana! I’ve known Leon for years, and we’ve been through so much together. I couldn’t just throw it away without agreeing to at least think about it!”

“But you don’t want him!” She turned to look at her brother. “Do you?”

“I want him as a friend. I’m fairly sure I’m in love with Merlin and want to get serious with him, if we could ever manage to get together again so we can head in that direction. I haven’t seen him since he spent the night here that night; he’s been busy writing something about lipstick for a beauty magazine. And where are you going, may I ask? Father’s coming by.”

“And that’s precisely why I’m going out. Elena called, and we’re going to meet for dinner.”

“You can’t avoid him forever, Morgana.”

“I won’t. Just until I know what I’m going to do.”

~~O~~

Arthur walked to a nearby pub. After listening to his father go on for an hour or more about Morgana’s bad decisions before switching gears and needling Arthur about his sexual preference, Arthur needed a drink badly.

He entered the crowded room, making his way to the bar. Sitting on a stool, he ordered a beer and looked around. Just the average weeknight lot, having a few drinks in their wrinkled work clothes. The bartender handed Arthur his beer, and he took a long sip from it.

“Hello, I know you, don’t I?  Arthur isn’t it?” a voice to Arthur’s left said. Arthur turned and immediately recognized C from Merlin’s friend’s house.

“Oh, hello. Percy, right?”

“Call me C. Funny to see you when I’m meeting Merlin here. I’d ask you to join us, but we really have a lot to catch up on.”

Although his heart sped up at Merlin’s name, Arthur schooled his face, careful not to show any type of emotion at the man’s words. But inside he was flailing. _Merlin has a date with C? His old boyfriend? What the hell? Is this why he’s barely spoken to Arthur in a week, and one-worded him on text?_

“I couldn’t anyway,” he answered in a bored tone. I just came by to have a quick beer on my way to… (Arthur almost floundered, here, having no plans in mind)… meet my mate Leon.” He began drinking quickly. How uncomfortable would it be to run into Merlin in this situation? Arthur had obviously been dead wrong in his assumption that Merlin felt the same as he did.

“I know you and Merlin were on a date that night, so I hope this isn’t too uncomfortable for you,” C continued, not looking particularly bothered by it. “We had a short but rather—intense relationship before I left town. You can’t blame me for wanting to explore that avenue again.”

Arthur practically choked trying to get his beer down. He was already fumbling for his wallet with one hand.  He managed to get a bill out and push it toward the bar tender before standing up.

“Goodbye,” he told C, because it would just be a bold face lie to offer the platitude, “Nice to see you again.”

On his way out the door, he bumped right into Merlin, effectively killing his hope that perhaps C had been lying.

“Arthur!” Merlin exclaimed, definitely surprised.

“Hello, Merlin,” Arthur said, finding he couldn’t look the man straight in the face. His heart hurt so much, he just wanted to get the fuck away.

“Sorry I haven’t spoken to you much this week. I just got that lipstick article sent off.” Merlin shook his head. “Lipstick! Hey—are you all right?” He took hold of Arthur’s wrist. “You’ve fully recovered from that knock on the head, haven’t you?”

“Fully, yes. Just in a bit of a rush—er, Leon’s waiting for me.” Arthur tried to smile, failed miserably, and hearing C catch Merlin’s attention, he took the opportunity to escape.


	7. Clearing Things Up

Arthur spent the entire evening thinking about Merlin. How he saw him in the sandbox playing with Lance and Gwen’s little boy, how Arthur had felt so drawn to Merlin and just really wanted to know him. And how he’d thought—wow, wouldn’t it be great to settle down with this guy and have kids? And he’d done something he’d never done before…he’d just walked up and initiated a conversation with him.

Now he found himself wondering if he’d been an absolute idiot. Because even though things started off so well, and he and Merlin seemed to hit it off in every way possible, it seemed that it was all heading to shit. Merlin had hardly spoken with him all week, and now Merlin had made a date with that horrible “C” person.

He sighed. His head hurt. C was a fairly handsome man, and he’d had a relationship with Merlin—to use C’s words, an _intense_ one. Which sounded a lot like they’d slept together. Which made Arthur’s blood boil because that’s something Arthur _hadn’t_ done with Merlin, and he sure as hell didn’t like the thought of anyone else touching him. And why hadn’t Arthur slept with him? Because Arthur had this idea of how he wanted their relationship to be which included romance, shmoopy music, and lots of handholding until they got to the part where they took off all their clothes and ravished one another.

He drummed his fingers on the table, thinking. Then he picked up his mobile and ordered two dozen yellow and white daisies to be sent to Merlin at his flat the next day. As soon as he hung up, he had the awful thought of C and Merlin waking up in bed together to the sound of the doorbell, and Merlin going to the door to receive the flowers from the delivery bloke, and C laughing down his nose at Arthur’s daisies.

Arthur put his head down on the table and groaned.

There was a knock at the door. Arthur pulled himself out of the chair and answered it to find Leon standing on the other side looking all bashful and uncomfortable.

“For God’s sake, wipe that kicked puppy look off your face and come in,” Arthur said, turning and heading for the living room. Leon shut the door and followed, joining Arthur on the couch.

“Have you thought about it, Arthur? Because this is killing me,” Leon told him without preamble.

Arthur looked into his friend’s eyes—eyes he knew better than virtually anyone else’s. “Yes, Leon. I’ve given it quite a bit of thought.” (In between bouts of worrying he’d lose Merlin, that is.) “Leon. I love you, and I’ll always love you. But we are not good together romantically. We were right to end it.” Arthur watched Leon’s face fall with a pang in his heart, and quickly grasped his friend’s hand. “Leon, if you’ll just think about it…don’t you remember why we ended things?” Slowly, he leaned in and pressed his mouth to Leon’s, felt Leon respond. They kissed for a few minutes before Leon pulled back. Arthur raised his brows, waiting.

Leon moved closer, leaned in, and kissed Arthur again. Arthur went with it, allowing the other man’s tongue entrance. They slid warmly together for a few minutes, Leon tentatively cupping Arthur’s neck with his hand. When he pulled back, Leon looked deeply into Arthur’s eyes before sighing defeatedly.

“No spark.”

“None whatsoever. Sex was comfortable with us, Leon. We were able to get each other up and finish each other off, but there was nothing electric about it. I know you felt that with Terrance. Didn’t you?”

Leon was quiet a moment before nodding.

“You’ve been lying to yourself,” Arthur explained to him. “What happened to me in the bar scared you because, yes, you love me. But not like _that_ , Leon. You know this. You didn’t want to face your new relationship, so you gravitated back to the old, safe one.”

“And you’re in love with Merlin,” Leon added.

“And I’m in love with Merlin.”

Leon nodded once. And finally smiled. Arthur cuffed him on the arm, then hugged him tightly.

~~O~~

The following day Arthur was working out at the gym when Merlin called.

“Arthur—the flowers are lovely,” he said immediately when Arthur answered. “Thank you.”

“Daisies remind me of you,” Arthur told him. “And the field. And to a lesser extent, the cow, but I don’t want to linger on that.”

Merlin laughed. “I was a bit afraid you were angry at me when I saw you yesterday at the pub.”

“More out of sorts than anything else,” Arthur answered, wiping the sweat off his face with his T shirt. “Would you have dinner with me tonight?” he asked.

“I’d love to.

They met up at a very posh restaurant where Arthur had spent many a dinner in his life.

“Wow,” Merlin said when they’d been seated and had ordered. “This place is really something else.”

“This is where Father liked to have family meals,” Arthur told him.

“Really?” Merlin wrinkled his brow.

“I know, pathetic. I think that’s why the farmhouse appeals to me so much…so homey. I want a real home like that…I always have.”

“Have you signed the papers yet?” Merlin asked.

“Yesterday,” Arthur grinned, and Merlin’s face lit up.

“Brilliant, Arthur, I’m so happy for you!”

“Remember, you promised to help me with it…at least cheer me on. And rub my back.” He gave Merlin a flirtatious wink that made the other man blush.

“And I will,” Merlin promised, leaning back in his chair so the waiter could place his salad in front of him.

“How’s Morgana?” Merlin took a sip of water.

“Almost back to her old self. She’s seeing a therapist, actually, and I know she wouldn’t mind me telling you that. She’s rather proud of herself for taking this step. We’ve both fought with issues of wanting to please our father. That’s why she married Isaac –to please him.”

“Wow,” Merlin said. “I’m sure that was difficult for her—marrying someone she doesn’t love.”

Arthur nodded. “She’s been very unhappy, even more so than I thought. My father’s shoved women my way occasionally, but he’s never gone about it with the force that he used on Morgana to marry Isaac. He’s the son of an old family friend, and Father has wanted to see them married for years. Isaac escorted Morgana to every private school function she’s ever been to. I honestly don’t recall Morgana ever dating anyone else. So Isaac was familiar, and Father wanted their marriage, and she just went along with it all in spite of her doubts.”

“My sister is quite fond of Morgana,” Merlin told him. “I think they went out yesterday and have something planned again today.”

“I’m glad. Morgana could use a friend.”

Merlin nodded but didn’t say anything else on the subject.

“Merlin,” Arthur said after they’d spent a few minutes on their salads. “I want you to know…I fully intend to pursue you, even if you are going out with C.”

Merlin looked surprised. “Oh. I didn’t realize you knew I was at the pub to meet him last night.”

“He told me,” Arthur replied, chasing a tomato with his fork.

Merlin looked uncomfortable. “He’d been calling me, and I felt it was only polite to talk things out with him. He wants to pick up where we left off, just as I was afraid he might.”

Arthur looked up at him. “And what do you want?”

Merlin smiled, and Arthur’s heart flipped.

“I told him I didn’t want to see him, of course. Arthur, I thought you knew I fancy you.”

Arthur couldn’t help the smile that transformed his face at Merlin’s words. “That’s really good,” he said on an expelled breath, “because I fancy the hell out of you.” He cleared his throat. “I thought—well, I didn’t hear from you this week…I thought maybe you'd changed your mind about wanting to date him again.”

Merlin leaned toward Arthur over the table. “I told you I had to write that paper. It wasn’t easy to do when all I could think about was how it felt to hold you against me in your bed, your heart beating against mine. It would’ve been impossible if I’d heard your voice every day and been tempted to see you.”

Arthur couldn’t think of anything to say. His insides had completely turned to mush. He inched his hand across the table and took Merlin’s, playing with his fingers. “I’m so, _so_ glad, Merlin,” he said fervently.

After a moment of smiling rather goofily at one another, they both turned their attention to their food and resumed eating.

Arthur took a sip of wine and, emboldened by what Merlin had said, slipped off his shoe and caressed the inside of Merlin’s calf with his socked foot. Merlin jumped a little, his eyes met Arthur’s, and Arthur couldn’t help but think of a term he’d heard once—Eye sex. His mouth went dry, and he found it very difficult to concentrate on the meal the waiter set before him. A moment later he felt Merlin’s foot rubbing against his under the table and he sucked in a quiet breath.

The air between them seemed to heat up as the meal continued. Arthur was relieved when Merlin declined coffee and dessert. Once they got out into the fresh evening air, Arthur took a couple of deep breaths to steady himself and tried to discreetly cover his groin until it calmed down. They walked a bit, window shopping and talking. Merlin showed Arthur a lamp in a store window that he was considering buying.

“Eclectic. I like it,” Arthur said. He pointed to an end table he thought was particularly attractive. Merlin agreed the cherry wood was lovely. Arthur mentally began imagining them picking out furniture for their future home, and then told himself he was a real girl’s blouse and to grow up—Soon he’d be writing their names together on his desk pad along with little drawn hearts with arrows piercing them.

Merlin took Arthur’s hand in his as they continued to walk. A moment later he surprised Arthur by pulling him into the entryway of a closed shop. Fisting the front of Arthur’s shirt, he pulled him close and said, “You were very naughty in there---teasing me beneath the table.”

Arthur put his hands on Merlin’s waist, pulling him closer until their bodies aligned snuggly, thinking how good and how _right_ it felt. “I couldn’t help myself. You looked so delicious.”

“Delicious?” Merlin raised a brow.

“I just want to taste every bit of you,” Arthur admitted, his voice hoarse with need.

“Oh, fuck, Arthur…” Merlin rasped.

“That, too.”

Merlin’s lips crashed onto Arthur’s in a searing kiss that quickly progressed to filthy tongue play. Arthur couldn’t help but grind into Merlin’s hardness, his hands slipping down to cup Merlin’s ass. Merlin felt long and thick beneath his trousers. Arthur wanted to see him so badly. He wanted to taste Merlin’s cock, suck and lick it until Merlin cried out with need, but he was still determined to have their first time be romantic.

Reluctantly, Arthur pulled back. “Soon, Merlin. Soon. I promise.” He was breathing hard, and Merlin looked so wrecked, Arthur felt a bit sadistic for making him wait. “I mean it—I want it to be special. I really, really like you, Merlin.”

Merlin’s eyes softened, and he stepped away. “Okay, then,” he said determinedly.  Leaning his head back and closing his eyes, Merlin was the picture of concentration. “Just picturing my grandmother nude,” he told Arthur when he opened his eyes again. “Works like a charm.”

Horrified, Arthur felt the pulse of his cock pounding against his trousers, and sighed. “Okay, I’ll give it a go.” Closing his eyes, he reluctantly conjured up an image of Uther’s mother posed suggestively on a bed in her birthday suit. “Oh, fucking balls!” he spat, opening his eyes. Merlin laughed loudly, holding his stomach in mirth.

“You should see your face!”

Arthur wrinkled his nose and stepped out onto the sidewalk with a full-body shudder. “I never want to do that again! It did work though, I must admit.”

Merlin joined him, taking Arthur’s hand in his as they resumed walking.

“Arthur, may I ask you something that may seem a bit personal?” Merlin inquired after a while.

“Ask away,” Arthur looked at him questioningly.

Merlin stopped under a street lamp. “It’s about Leon.” He licked his lips. “The night you were hurt…well, it’s just that…sometimes Leon seemed more than just a best mate to me. There was a point when I think I was a little _territorial_ about you, because he just brought it out in me. I was determined that I would be the one to take care of you that night.”

Arthur’s heart melted. “And I’m so glad you did. Yeah. Leon’s actually been having a tough time of it. He’s not good with new things, and he’s been a bit scared about his feelings for Terrance. I think the worry over me that night just knocked him back a bit. We’ve talked it out, and everything’s fine now.”

Merlin’s smile was bright. “I’m glad. I didn’t think I’d imagined the whole thing, and it’s worried me.”

Arthur kissed Merlin’s hand. “There’s no need to be worried. Morgana actually saw it, too. She keeps me on my toes.”


	8. Out in the Country

“So, are you still spending all your free time with Morgana?” Merlin asked his sister as he scrubbed his kitchen counters. He had Elena on speaker phone, and her voice was loud and sharp in the otherwise quiet room.

“Yes and no. She’s staying with me until her flat is available because she doesn’t want to impose on Arthur or deal with all the construction at his house, but she’s seeing some guy. Evidently, she’s not into women, even a little bit.”

“Sorry, sis.  Frankly, I was a little surprised that you wanted to try that.”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. You know I haven’t dated anyone.”

“Is that why you’ve turned down Will every time he’s asked you out?” Merlin worked on a hardened  _something_ on the stove top with his fingernail.

“No, I just don’t like him,” Elena said bluntly. “But you can tell him that's the reason if you want. I’m going to have to get out there in the lesbian scene and see what happens. I wish I could be with Morgana, but that’s not going to happen. Fortunately, she does want to be friends.”

Merlin sighed. “What’s Mum going to say? She had a hard enough time when I came out.”

Elena laughed. “I don’t know, but she’ll deal with it. I’m not going to worry about her reaction, and neither should you. Besides, I heard from Aunt Stella that Mum’s been seeing Mr. Brewith.”

Merlin straightened up and stared at the phone. “What? That old man next door to her?”

Elena giggled. “He’s her age, Merlin. So, if Mum says anything about either of our sexualities, we can bring up the fact that her new boyfriend has hair growing out his ears!”

Merlin gave in to a full body shudder before continuing with his cleaning.

“So how are things with you and Arthur?” Elena asked. “Last time I talked to Morgana, she said he was still all ga-ga over you. As he should be.”

“Spoken like a true big sister,” Merlin replied, putting away the cleaner and sponge. “Frankly, I’m more than a bit ‘ga-ga’ over him, too. I’ve not gotten to spend much time with him these past few weeks because he’s been so busy at work and with fixing up his new house, plus I’ve had three freelance jobs in a row. I’m going over to his new place after a while, though.” He stopped wiping the faucet and leaned on the sink. “Although his place is not exactly ‘new’ because it’s quite old. New to him, though.” He shrugged.

“Have you gone to bed with him yet?” Elena asked.

Merlin barked a laugh. “Wouldn’t you like to know!”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t ask. Come on…I need to live vicariously through you because I have no life. You don’t want me to begin talking to my wire art pieces, do you?”

“Don’t you already?” Merlin rinsed out the cloth he’d been using and hung it to dry before picking up the sponge again. “No, I haven’t slept with him. Arthur wants to take things slow because he says he really likes me.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet! I hope he becomes my brother-in-law!” Elena crooned.

“Elena, stop!” Merlin laughed. “I have to go so I can shower and be there on time. Talk to you later.”

Merlin took a quick shower, ran a towel through his hair and tried for ‘casually tussled,’ brushed his teeth and pulled on his nicest jeans and a clingy T-shirt in a shade of blue that brought out his eyes. He was a little jittery just thinking about seeing Arthur again. They’d only had a few coffees after work and one lunch since the night they went out to dinner three weeks ago. Arthur had asked him to come out last weekend when he and his friends were working on the house, but Merlin had a deadline. He was dying to see him, to hear his voice, to touch him.

Boy, did he have it bad.

Merlin took the bus to Will’s and borrowed his car to drive out to Arthur’s.

“If you don’t nail him soon, I’m going to think you’ve lost your touch,” Will told him as he handed him his keys.

“Thanks for this, Will,” Merlin told him, grinning madly when Will just waved his hand and told him to get out already.

The drive into the country was pleasant. The sun was just setting, spreading brilliant hues of red and orange over the horizon. Merlin rolled the window down, enjoying the breeze. He’d programmed his mobile’s GPS with the address, even though he sort of remembered where the house was, since it was pretty close to Elena’s, but he’d only been out there the once, and he didn’t want to get lost.

Merlin found it without any trouble, and drove up the gravel drive, being careful of the potholes; Will would skin him alive if he did any damage to his precious car, even though it was at least ten years old. Will treated it like it was his baby.

When Merlin pulled up in front of the old farmhouse, Arthur walked out to meet him, an apron tied around his waist.

“Well, hello, gorgeous,” Merlin said to him as he climbed out and shut the car door. “Aren’t you looking pretty tonight.”

“Shut up, Merlin, and kiss me,” Arthur said, reaching for him. Merlin eagerly obliged, wrapping his arms around Arthur’s waist and drawing him in close for a tantalizingly slow kiss.

“Mmm, you taste good,” Merlin murmured against Arthur’s lips.

“I’ve been nipping at the chocolate strawberries,” Arthur told him, kissing him again and then once again. “I’m marinating chicken in between painting baseboards, and I have some salad to go with it, too.”

Merlin slid his arm around Arthur’s waist as they proceeded to the house. “I wish you had let me bring something.”

“No need; I have everything,” Arthur answered. “I’m just glad you’re here. I’ve missed you.”

When they got to the front porch, Merlin looked it over with a low whistle, “It looks brilliant!”

“Leon replaced the rickety railing,” Arthur pointed out as they climbed the steps. “And I put a new porch light in. Plus Percy painted everything, including the front door. I had to keep feeding him, because if you recall, Percy has arms like tree trunks, and he needs food for energy. He went through a lot of groceries these past few weeks.”

They walked through the front door, Merlin admiring the fresh red paint on it, and Arthur took him for a tour of the downstairs, showing how they’d painted all the walls and put in new light fixtures in every room. “Also that ceiling fan,” Arthur added, pointing to the kitchen ceiling. “We just got these cabinets in today, which is why I still have so many pots sitting about.”

Merlin was nodding and admiring when Arthur abruptly took Merlin’s hand and drug him up the back staircase.

“Arthur, I thought you wanted to go slow…” Merlin teased, following behind him. “You’re so forward--Why don’t you just knock me over the head with a club and carry me to your bedroom?”

Arthur laughed, blushing. “I just want to show you the master bedroom, since it’s the first room we’ve actually completed, you whore.” He took a step into the room and stood back, watching Merlin’s reaction.

Merlin paused in the doorway, his mouth falling open in surprise. The room had been painted a rich, dark red, and the lush bedspread on the king-size bed was a deep gold, the head piled with lush pillows. The draperies covering the two windows were a striped mix of both colors, and the Oriental rug on the hardwood floor blended as well, incorporating an eggshell white as well as a hint of blue. Arthur’s furniture was the same cherry wood that he had admired in the shop window.

“It’s beautiful,” Merlin breathed. “What a wonderful room this must be to come home to.”

Arthur looked extremely pleased at Merlin’s words. Taking Merlin’s hand, he gave it a squeeze before bringing it to his mouth and kissing each finger reverently, his eyes never leaving Merlin’s. A shiver went up Merlin’s spine and his dick hardened in his pants at the same time as his heart softened into a gooey blob in his chest. He wondered at the man that could do such things to him with such a simple, albeit incredibly romantic and sexy, gesture.

Arthur showed Merlin the bathroom with its large shower, explaining that he and his mates had replaced the old dingy, rusted one that had been there before.

“You certainly have been busy,” Merlin noted, and Arthur explained that they had been there practically every night after work. Merlin stepped forward to admire the shower. There was even a little seat in the corner of the stall, and Merlin’s mind went haywire thinking of what it could be used for. He’d always enjoyed sex in the shower, and thinking about having it with Arthur gave him a hard-on that was difficult to ignore.

Back downstairs, Arthur slipped the chicken into the oven and took a large bowl of salad out of the refrigerator. The dark green lettuce formed a rich backdrop for the bright yellow and red peppers, cherry tomatoes, and crisp cucumber that adorned the top.

“You certainly are talented in the kitchen,” Merlin told him.

“That’s not the only room I’m talented in,” Arthur said with a wink, and Merlin lost his breath for a moment before busying himself opening the wine and pouring them each a glass.

“Now who’s being the whore?” he teased, and Arthur laughed.  Merlin gazed out the sliding glass door at the dark back yard, willing the fluttering of his heart to stop.

“I need to get a light for out there,” Arthur commented, coming to stand beside Merlin.

“This is a wonderful home, Arthur,” Merlin said softly, looking at his profile. “I’m so glad you were able to buy it.”

Smiling, Arthur tugged on Merlin’s hand. “Let’s go sit in the living room until the chicken’s ready, yeah?”

They snuggled down on the couch together, Merlin leaning against Arthur’s chest, the soft light of a table lamp the only illumination in the room.

“As soon as it gets cold, I’ll have a fire in the fireplace every evening,” Arthur said against Merlin’s hair.

Merlin imagined Arthur every night in the little farmhouse, looking at his legal briefs with a fire burning merrily in the grate.

“Won’t you be lonely out here?” Merlin asked, thinking about how the nearest neighbor was a mile or so down the road.

Arthur put his wine on the table and hugged Merlin to him. “I hope to have some company as many nights as possible.”

Merlin colored. “I didn’t—I mean, I wasn’t fishing to be invited.”

Arthur kissed him behind his ear, taking a little nip from the shell before saying, “I know that. Frankly, I’ve been a little afraid of scaring you off with all this domesticity.”

Merlin didn’t say anything, because frankly, it was a little scary. He was so used to living in a flat in the heart of the city, taking the tube to work and going to pubs with friends…thinking of living out there in the country in a real home with a yard, possible pets, real home-cooked meals, and even an apron—it was all so different. It made him think uncomfortably of his mum and her friends. But he really liked Arthur, and one of the things Merlin liked most about him was Arthur’s earnest desire for an uncomplicated life no matter what his friends were doing. It was just that seeing him in it in this way might take some getting used to.

“Merlin?” Arthur asked uncertainly, and Merlin put a smile on his face, turning to kiss Arthur. “I’m glad you’re happy,” he said sincerely.

When the chicken was ready, they ate and then sat out on the porch swing for a while, looking out at the stars.

“The sky seems endless tonight,” Merlin commented, his arm around Arthur’s shoulders.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Arthur replied. “I want to have a big party as soon as all my renovations are finished. Maybe string fairy lights in the trees.”

Merlin tugged affectionately at Arthur’s hair. “Sounds lovely,” he smiled.

“You think I sound like a girl, don’t you?” Arthur accused.

“Only a little bit.”

Arthur pinched Merlin on the leg. “Ouch!” Merlin exclaimed. He stood up. “I guess that’s my cue to leave. It’s getting late.”

Arthur rose. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

They spent several minutes standing out in the driveway snogging, every kiss making it more and more difficult for Merlin to go. Arthur’s mouth was completely addictive.

“Thanks for the lovely dinner,” Merlin told Arthur when he finally stepped away from him with a last tug on Arthur’s lower lip with his teeth.

“You’re very welcome.” Arthur made to kiss him again, but Merlin put a hand to Arthur’s chest to stop him.

“I’d better go before I drag you back inside and up to that big bed you have. You wanted to take things slowly, remember?”

“Using my own words to hurt me,” Arthur accused. “All right. Come again soon?”

“It’s your turn to come to my place. I can’t cook like you can, but I’ll think of something. Wednesday night?”

“You’ve got a date,” Arthur promised.


	9. Love and A Disagreement

 

Since it was late by the time Merlin got Will’s car to him, Merlin spent the night. Will tossed him a pair of his pyjamas, which had red, black, pink, and yellow Power Rangers all over them. Merlin considered making fun of him for it, except Will had seen Merlin’s Ninja Turtle pair plenty of times.

“So are you all in _love_ now?” Will asked after he’d made up the sofa for his friend.

“Getting there, maybe,” Merlin admitted. “I mean, it feels like love, but we’ve not been to bed together yet, and you know that can throw a wrench into things.”

“Well, surely Prince Arthur will make his move soon,” Will told him.

“Stop calling him that, Will.”

“Why? It’s the perfect nickname since he’s all good looking and gallant. At least you say he is, right? When do I get to meet him?”

“He’s going to have a party soon, and I’ll make sure you’re on the guest list,” Merlin promised, sliding his legs under the quilt on the couch.

“Tell him to invite some pretty birds, too. I need a woman,” Will ordered as he turned out the lights. “G’night Merlin.”

“Goodnight, Will.”

Merlin scooted down until his head rested on the pillows and stared into the darkness. Everything about his relationship with Arthur so far screamed ‘permanent.’ Is that what Merlin wanted? Arthur seemed to be at a stage in his life when he wanted to settle down. Putting off the sex in their relationship, while sweet and certainly flattering, was frightening to Merlin. It made him wonder what he’d be promising when he did go to bed with Arthur. Part of him wanted to be with Arthur as much of possible, but another part of him wasn’t certain he could commit. He told himself to stop worrying. The only reason why he was so spooked was that it was his first time out to Arthur’s new house. Just because the man chose to live out in the country in a renovated farmhouse didn’t mean he wanted to live like a sixty-year-old man.

Turning on his side, Merlin closed his eyes and tried to count sheep. Which soon became fainting goats. With a smile, Merlin drifted off.

***

“I don’t get you at all,” Gwen told him at their next Sunday dinner.  Gareth ran around the living room with an airplane making flying noises, and Lance sat across from Gwen and Merlin, who were on the couch with their wine glasses. “You’re always moaning about not being able to find a good man, but when you find one, you make yourself sick worrying about stupid things.”

“It’s not stupid, Gwen!” Lance told her. “Merlin has a right to his feelings.”

Gwen frowned. “How can you condone it when he complains about Arthur treating him like he matters?”

“I’m not complaining,” Merlin groaned. “I’m just wondering where this is headed.”

“Have you thought about asking Arthur?” Lance inquired.

“Yes,” Merlin sighed. “But I’m not sure Arthur’s looking for anything too serious…I mean, I don’t want to scare him off. I really like him!”

“Just don’t say anything yet, Merlin,” Gwen advised.

***

The date at Merlin’s was fun and worked to settle Merlin’s nerves, since it was just like any other date he’d had with a man at his flat. Only without the sex part.

And Merlin really, really wanted the sex part with Arthur. Their snogging was getting more and more intense, and Merlin thought a few times that he might cum in his pants like an adolescent if they didn’t let up some, so he’d backed off, and they’d gone to their respective corners of the couch to regroup.

Their next date was a movie, and Arthur held Merlin’s hand the entire time. Merlin had trouble keeping his mind on the plot, especially since Arthur’s leg kept sliding against his, and Merlin’s dick was so hard it fucking _hurt_.

“Arthur,” Merlin said when they’d left the theater and were standing out in the cool evening air. “I think we’ve waited long enough. My cock can’t take the pressure anymore.”

Arthur stared at him, wide-eyed, before saying, “O’kay.”

“O’kay?” Merlin asked. “You mean…you’ll have sex with me?”

“It isn’t exactly a hardship, Merlin,” Arthur teased. “I’ve wanted to all along, but I didn’t want to just jump in bed on the first or second date. I wanted to get to know you first and let you know that you matter to me.”

Merlin swallowed, taking a step toward Arthur. “And now you do? Know me?” he asked.

Arthur smiled. “And now I do.”

An hour later Merlin had nine inches of Arthur buried deep inside him as he hoarsely called out Arthur’s name. He lay on his side, his leg draped back over Arthur’s, Arthur’s gasps and moans loud in his ear. The sex was of the awesome, mind-blowing sort—far superior to any Merlin had ever had, his desire-addled brain mused as Arthur thrust inside him one last time with a shudder that shook them both. An intense climax hit Merlin just as Arthur’s body stiffened against Merlin’s back.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Arthur shouted.

“Ditto,” Merlin breathed exhaustedly.  Arthur gently slipped out of Merlin’s body and sank back onto the mattress, his chest heaving.

“Oh, Merlin, that was…so good,” he breathed, and Merlin laughed giddily.

“I’ll say. I guess waiting really made us crazy.” He blushed, remembering how they’d torn one another’s clothes off as soon as they’d entered the flat and practically killed Merlin’s cat when they’d crashed onto the bed.

Arthur pulled Merlin closer to him, kissing his sweat-soaked temple. “It’s always going to be this way,” he promised. “I can’t get enough of you.”

Merlin knew that he felt the same. Arthur was already like a drug to him, and now that he’d tasted his body, he just wanted more. Needed more. Turning, he kissed Arthur with ardor, his hands running down his perspiration-slick skin. He gently pulled the condom off Arthur’s half-hard cock and tied it at the end, noting that there was a lot of cum in it. The thought excited Merlin—that Arthur had shot off so much while fucking him. He laid his head on Arthur’s chest, listening to his still-rapid heartbeat and playing with the divot of his navel. When Arthur began to softly snore, Merlin smiled, pulling the sheet up around them both.

***

When Merlin spent the night at Arthur’s house the following Saturday night, he got his wish: Sitting on the built-in seat in the master bath shower, he sucked Arthur’s cock, the blond leaning with both hands on the tile behind Merlin’s head, his head hanging as he panted and groaned while Merlin held onto the deliciously round cheeks of Arthur’s arse. Then he got to fuck Arthur up against the shower wall, and Merlin knew he was in heaven. Later he had Arthur on his knees on the big bed, his perfect arse taking everything Merlin had to give and his gorgeous mouth moaning such dirty talk that Merlin had to concentrate hard not to embarrass himself by coming too soon.

There were only a few times when things felt so terribly domestic that Merlin got the jitters, such as breakfast the next morning and reading the Sunday paper together out on the porch while Arthur’s chicken and goat played in a nearby pen, but those feelings were short and easily forgotten. (Merlin named the goat Billy, much to Arthur’s dismay. “Couldn’t you have come up with something more original, Merlin?” and Arthur called the hen Florence.)

That evening, Merlin took Arthur with him to Gwen and Lance’s, and watched as Arthur spent an hour helping Gareth build a castle of Legos on the far side of the living room.

“He’s so sweet with him,” Gwen commented, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Yes, he is,” Merlin agreed.

“He told me earlier that he's always wanted a child. He’s actually looked into adopting one.”

Merlin visibly jolted next to her on the couch. “What?” He looked at Gwen, who frowned.

“He wants a child. He also said that you’d make a beautiful baby. He thinks your coloring is beautiful.  Isn’t that sweet?”

She nudged Merlin in the side with her elbow.

“Yeah, sweet,” Merlin said, recalling the day he’d met Arthur. Arthur had seen him playing in the sandbox with Gareth. He’d told him he’d make a great father. He’d told him he’d loved his coloring, which had been an odd compliment to Merlin’s mind.

“Gwen…I—I don’t know if I want kids.”

Gwen turned to look at him. “What? You don’t, really?”

Merlin licked his lips, his eyes fastened on Arthur playing with Gareth in the floor.

“I haven’t really considered it. I mean, I’m gay. I never thought about two men having a child.”

“But you can—with a surrogate mother, or adoption,” Gwen pointed out. “Are you saying you don’t want a child at all? You love Gareth!”

“Of course I love him, but that doesn’t mean I want one of my own!” Merlin ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at it. “God, Gwen, I didn’t know Arthur felt this way.”

“Now, don’t get yourself all in a dither, Merlin. You and Arthur are at the beginning stages of your relationship. Things change. People change.” She patted his leg.

“You’re saying I’ll change my mind. I don’t know if I will, Gwen.”

Gwen gave him a rather severe look. “Don’t mess things up over this, Merlin. Not when you haven’t thought things through.”

Merlin suddenly felt quite sick.

When he and Arthur left later that night, Arthur pulled him aside before they got into the car. “What’s wrong? You’ve been acting strangely since dinner.”

“I’m just not feeling very well,” Merlin said. It wasn’t a lie. He felt like throwing up.

“I’m sorry,” Arthur told him sincerely. “I’ll drive you straight home, unless you want to stay at mine? I have to work, but you could lie around all day.”

“I think I’d rather be at home, if you don’t mind,” Merlin told him, and Arthur nodded and got into the car.

***

Merlin told himself to do as Gwen said. Don’t ruin things when he really didn’t know for sure how it would go between him and Arthur. But if Arthur really wanted children, Merlin felt as though he was leading him on. However, he had to remind himself that Arthur hadn’t broached the subject with him, so he was really jumping the gun by worrying over it.

He wanted that to be true, anyway. Merlin was blissfully happy with Arthur. He’d never known a better man, and they were compatible in every aspect of their relationship. And the sex was so hot. Burning hot. He forced himself to forget about his worries and just enjoy being with him.

Arthur spent an entire weekend at Merlin’s, and they christened every room in the flat. Merlin had Arthur over the couch, his face buried in the cushions; Arthur had Merlin in the bathtub, water sloshing until there was more on the floor than in the tub; Merlin sucked Arthur off in the kitchen, Arthur banging his head on the microwave when he came; and Arthur gave Merlin the rimming of his life on the terrace, of all places, where Merlin shot his load between the railing and over the ledge. Merlin had never been so exhausted.

Or so in love. So out of his mind, fucked-over-the-moon in love.

So when Arthur said, “I love you, Merlin,” as he drove Merlin to new points of madness in his bed, Merlin readily and willingly answered, “I love you, too, so much, Arthur,” before shattering into a million pieces and then flying back together again.

***

Two weekends later the night of Arthur’s big party arrived. Leon, Merlin, and Arthur spent all afternoon stringing tiny clear lights throughout the trees. Morgana brought plenty of booze over, as well as her iPod, speakers, and phenomenal party playlist. Elena baked some special hors d’oeuvres for the occasion and brought a petite girl called Freya as a date. Percy arrived early with his date, Gwaine, and Will came stag. Leon had gotten back with Terrance, who arrived around the same time as Gwen, Lance, and Elyan in Elyan's girlfriend's Suburban.

The party was in full swing when Arthur sought out Merlin, putting his arm around him and hugging him close. “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier, Merlin. Living here, having you, and being surrounded by friends makes me feel like a king.”

Merlin kissed him. “It’s a wonderful party. Everyone is having so much fun.”

And they were. Gwaine and Percy had started dancing, and almost everyone immediately joined in. Laughter and whooping filled the air, particularly when Will hit the dance floor with Morgana. Both evidently had had some formal training (and quite a bit to drink), and they moved from one fancy dance to another with ease while everyone clapped their hands and made catcalls.

And because Merlin couldn’t help himself, he had to ruin the perfection of the moment by turning to Arthur and asking, “Arthur, is it true that you want children?”

Arthur looked at him, surprised. They stood under a large oak tree, far enough away from the commotion to have a modicum of privacy. “Well, yeah, I’d like to have one or two someday. Why do you ask?”

Merlin’s face fell. “How come you never thought to tell me?”

Arthur’s mouth worked, the words seeming to have trouble coming out. “I—I don’t know. I thought I had. Is it important?”

Merlin watched Arthur’s face---a face he had come to love very much. “It depends on what you want from me, I guess.”

“What I want…Merlin, I love you.” He turned and put his hands on Merlin’s shoulders. “I want to be with you always. Are you saying that—you don’t want children? I thought you liked kids.”

“I do like them, Arthur. I just don’t think I want one of my own.  I guess I’m just wondering if that’s a deal-breaker with you.”

Arthur looked stunned, almost in shock. Merlin pulled him toward a bench and sat him down, taking a seat beside him. “Don’t get me wrong, Arthur…I love you. I really do. You’ve made me see how wonderful it would be to settle down with someone. I just don’t know about having a child. I don’t think it’s something I want.” He took Arthur’s hand and squeezed it.

“I don’t know what to say,” Arthur replied, more to the table than to Merlin, and Merlin’s heart froze in his chest. His worst fears were coming true.

“You want a man who wants a family,” Merlin stated a little unevenly.

Arthur didn’t look at him.

“Arthur?”

“I need time to think, Merlin. I should have talked about this with you earlier, I suppose. I didn’t think—I didn’t think.”

Merlin got up and went into the house for a glass of water, his heart a large, cold stone in his chest. Arthur wanted time to think. Merlin sat at the kitchen table with his glass and stared at it. After a while, Elena came looking for him.

“Merlin, why are you sitting in here, and why does Arthur look as though he’s been through a war zone?”

Merlin played with the condensation on his glass. “Arthur wants children. I don’t.”

Elena sat. “Oh. Wow.”

“Yeah.” He looked up at his sister. “What am I going to do, Laney?”

“I don’t know. What did Arthur say?”

“He needs time to think.”

“Then you give him that time, I guess. What else can you do?” She patted his hand consolingly.


	10. Breaking Up is Hard to Do

 

When Merlin came back outside, Will was standing by Morgana, his arm casually wrapped around her shoulders. They laughed and drank beer and seemed generally oblivious to the fact that Merlin’s world had come crashing down around him.

Arthur stood at the corner of the yard, staring down at Billy and Florence, when Merlin approached him.

“Hey, Arthur, I think I’m going to take off now,” Merlin said in as steady a voice as he could manage while his heart broke into pieces. He told himself to get a grip…it wouldn’t be the first relationship that had turned pear shaped. _Only you’ve never had a relationship like this one before,_ his heart reminded him.

Arthur turned and looked at Merlin, his eyes sad.

“I guess it was a kind of important thing for me to keep from you,” he replied. “I should’ve covered that before we started sleeping together.”

Merlin shrugged sadly. “I was already a goner by then.”

Arthur blinked and took a step forward, the bit of his blond hair falling over his forehead making him look impossibly young. “Yeah, but what you don’t know is I wanted you as soon as I laid eyes on you. I wanted to have you in my life forever, Merlin. I knew you were the one. So I should’ve told you what my plans were.”

Merlin looked down at his feet. He wanted to say, _Never mind what I said-- I’ll have children with you! As many as you want!_

But he couldn’t. Because he really didn’t think he wanted those children, and that wouldn’t be fair to Arthur. Or the children. Or himself.

“I’m really sorry, Arthur,” Merlin said softly.

He turned and strode up to Will, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him away from everyone. Merlin proceeded to inform him through clenched teeth that Will was to take Merlin home _right that bloody minute because any second now I’m going to fall apart in front of all these people!_

“Merlin,” Will told him through equally clenched teeth, “I am enjoying myself with Morgana, and you are ruining it; what is your ever-loving problem, anyway?”

“Merlin!” Elena saved Merlin from throttling his best mate by running up to him, Freya in tow. “We’ll take you home. Come on.”

Merlin remained silent the entire drive, and Elena respected that silence, talking quietly with Freya in the front seat. When they reached Merlin’s building, she asked him if he’d like her to come back after she dropped Freya off.

“No. I’m fine, Laney. Thanks for the ride.” He shut the car door, then remembering, leaned in the front. “Nice to meet you, Freya.”

"Same here, Merlin," she answered, her eyes large and solemn.

He locked himself up in his flat and didn’t come out for a week.

***

Time passed obnoxiously slow for Arthur, who knew he was a dour presence at the law office that Percy and Leon tiptoed around as much as possible. Arthur missed Merlin. He missed him so badly he couldn’t sleep and hardly ate anything. He wanted to call him, or text him, but what was there to say?

In the evenings, he sat outside talking to Billy and Florence, who had struck up a weird kind of friendship. Florence spent a lot of time perched on Billy’s back, her wings just able to lift her that high, while Billy made _mah_ noises, eating everything in sight, trotting about the yard like having a chicken on one’s back was the most normal thing in the world. Neither one of them had any good advice for Arthur.

To make things even more difficult, Morgana had begun seeing Merlin’s friend Will, which not only forced Arthur into hearing all their new relationship shmoop, but also brought Will into their circle of friends. Will tended to flash Arthur barely veiled accusatory glances every time they were together, as though Arthur had purposely hurt Merlin, but that wasn’t too often since Arthur preferred to spend all his spare time at home wasting away and talking to his goat and hen.

Arthur quickly found out that if he wasn’t careful when he came out the porch door, it would slam hard and Billy would fall over in a swoon that sent Florence squawking off in a fit of ruffled feathers, which all just reminded Arthur of Merlin since he was the one who wanted a fainting goat in the first place.

Sometimes Arthur thought he was going crazy.

Three weeks after their breakup, Arthur began going to the pub again on Friday nights, mostly to shut Morgana up about how he was becoming a recluse, and _if having a damn child was so important to him, he’d better get on the stick and find a partner or else have it by himself_. It was difficult to watch her and Will all over one another, and that went double for Leon and Terrance, who had become quite an item. Arthur was happy for Leon, but all the love being shoved in Arthur’s face made him even more melancholy than he already was. And that was very.

“If you ask me, I think this whole thing is stupid,” Morgana told him on a Friday night at The Jousting Knight.

“I didn’t ask you,” Arthur pointed out, face in his beer.

“Well, you’re going to hear it anyway.” She scooted closer to him. Will had gone to get her a drink, and Leon and Terrance were snogging, oblivious to everything else. “Will says Merlin is pretty much like you--one of the walking dead. What’s the point in the two of you being so unhappy? Arthur, is having a child more important to you than having Merlin?”

“Is _not_ having one more important to him than having me?” Arthur asked childishly. Morgana made a noise of derision.

“You know very well that isn’t the same thing. If Merlin doesn’t want a child, it certainly isn’t a good idea for him to agree to have one just to please you. How would that be for the child?”

“I know.” Arthur looked down into his glass.

Morgana squeezed his arm. “Think about that a bit, little brother.”

And Arthur did think of it. If he wanted a child so badly, shouldn’t he just go ahead and look into adopting one? Or shouldn’t he advertise himself on one of the dating sights as someone who wants a family? Shouldn’t he look around the pub for an eligible bachelor or ask Leon if Terrance had someone to fix him up with? Shouldn’t he do something other than mope about thinking of Merlin?

Merlin, with his jet black hair, so soft and silky between Arthur’s fingers. Merlin with his long, gangly legs that go on forever and felt so good wrapped around Arthur in bed. Merlin with his kissable lips and fuckable arse and bright smile that could light up a room. Merlin with his throaty, slightly goofy laugh and blue eyes that swallowed Arthur with every look.

There was simply no one like Merlin.

That weekend, Arthur stood for a long time beside the pen in the back yard watching Billy and Florence. He thought about how he’d gotten Billy specifically for Merlin. “You two are our kids,” Arthur said, then laughed at his pun, since Billy was, technically, a _kid_. “I’m sorry I ran daddy off,” he told the animals, and then slapped his head with his hand, because he really had gone ‘round the bend, hadn’t he?

Before he could chicken out, Arthur got his phone out and sent a text message to Merlin.

**_Please come out and see me this weekend. I don’t care when. I really need to talk to you._ **

Replacing his phone in his pocket, he let out a sigh and waited.

***

At Will’s insistence, Merlin shaved the horrible beard he’d grown when he started ignoring personal grooming habits. “You look like a Puritan preacher,” he’d told Merlin. “And you smell like something worse, so will you bathe, please?”

Will had come banging on Merlin’s door after his week of self-enforced hermitage, exclaiming that seven days was long enough to pout.

“I’m not pouting,” Merlin had pouted. Then he’d allowed Will to fill him with pizza, make him shave his beard, and generally berate him about his relationship with Arthur.

“No bloke can make you have children if you don’t want them,” Will told Merlin as he went about picking up the mess that had accumulated in Merlin’s flat.

“He wasn’t making me have children, Will,” Merlin corrected. “He just wants them himself.”

“Well, that’s crazy in itself, isn’t it? Two blokes having kids…that’s not going to work.”

Merlin frowned. “Why not? Lots of gay couples have children.”

Will rolled his eyes. “You don’t like rug rats, so he shouldn’t pressure you into having them.”

Merlin huffed, getting up to load the dishwasher with week-old dishes. “I do like them, and he wasn’t pressuring me. Will, just shut up, will you? Let’s watch some Doctor Who.”

So Will continued coming over for an hour or so in the evenings to make sure Merlin was still alive and to give him the details on how gloriously happy he was dating Arthur’s sister. And that tended to include reports on Arthur and how he wasn’t taking care of himself and was generally horrible to be around.

“I’m telling you, he’s going to lose all his friends. Which he deserves for trying to get you to—“

“Will!” Merlin practically shouted.

Somehow C had gotten notice that Merlin and Arthur had broken things off, and he began calling Merlin again.

“Why don’t you go out with him?” Will asked. “I’ll bet he doesn’t entertain crazy ideas of having children with you.”

Merlin rolled his eyes but remained silent. He told C he wasn’t interested and ignored it when he called again. Finally, he blocked his number on his mobile.

Merlin was cleaning the toilet when he got the notification he had a text message from Arthur, which caused him to fumble the  mobile spastically and drop his mobile in the bowl. Fishing it out, he groaned when he found that it had frozen and he couldn't open the message. He set it on the counter to dry out and wondered what the hell Arthur had texted him about. He hadn’t spoken with him in three weeks, and now he texts?

“Stupid phone!” Merlin said, taking it apart and drying out each piece individually. “I can’t believe this is happening!”

Merlin flopped down on his bed, his phone beside him on the nightstand, now with a black screen and refusing to turn on. He thought about what Arthur could have texted him about. He knew he could call him on a land line-- that is, if he knew Arthur’s number by heart---it was programmed in his phone, so he never memorized it. And he would feel really stupid calling Morgana for his number, and then calling Arthur and having to explain all of this. He shot his mobile a nasty look and grumbled to himself.

The thing was, he just couldn’t think of anything bad that Arthur could have sent in a message. It had to be something along the lines of wanting to see him, unless Arthur just had some random question, like _what was the name of that restaurant that had the great salads?_ Which would just be Merlin’s luck.

And if Arthur had text messaged Merlin to ask him to see him, and Merlin wasn’t answering, Arthur was going to think that Merlin didn’t _want_ to see Arthur, and that simply wasn’t true! In fact, Merlin very much wanted to see him, and he missed him so badly he was almost ready to agree to anything.

Will’s frequent diatribes at how awful Arthur was to expect Merlin to want children had had the (now that Merlin thought about it, probably intended) result of making Merlin think things over a bit. Was the fact that Arthur wanted children and Merlin _probably_ didn’t a good reason to end a wonderful relationship? Had they really given themselves enough time to make this decision?

Merlin sat up in bed and looked at the clock. It was after midnight on a Saturday night. Arthur lived way out in the country, and Merlin didn’t have a car. He’d have to take a bus to Will’s, and Will might not even be at home. Elena lived out near Arthur, so he couldn’t very well ask her to drive in to get him and then drive him back out.

He eased back down onto the mattress. It had been three weeks—nothing awful was going to happen if he waited another nine hours or so. He put a hand on his chest, trying to push his knocking heart back inside. _What the fuck had Arthur’s text message said?_

As though on cue, Merlin’s hated mobile suddenly came to life. The minute and a half it took to fully wind up seemed like the longest wait Merlin had ever had.

When he finally had access, he opened his messages and read Arthur’s.

Taking a deep breath, Merlin smiled. Arthur wanted to see him.

He would go out to his house the following day.


	11. The Importance of Talking Things Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, not quite the end.

Merlin found Arthur in the backyard, leaning against a tree with his laptop open on his lap. The pen was open, and Billy grazed on a patch of brambles not too far away from Arthur, with the hen, Florence, perched on his back.

Arthur must not have heard Will’s car when Merlin approached, for he seemed completely unaware he was no longer alone. As Merlin got closer, he realized that Arthur had ear buds in his ears. He took a moment to just look at the man before making his presence known.

The first thing Merlin noticed was just how incredibly handsome Arthur was. He’d almost forgotten, and sometimes suspected that perhaps his memory was making the man out to be more than he was. But no, Arthur’s hair was just as blond, his jawline just as sharp, his lips just as full and pink. But there were circles under Arthur’s eyes that hadn’t been there before, and Merlin thought that Arthur looked a bit thinner. The day was cool, yet Arthur wore a pair of jogging shorts, his legs crossed at the ankles. He was barefoot, and Merlin wanted to tell him to put some shoes on before he caught cold. Of course, it was no longer Merlin’s right to try to take care of Arthur.

Merlin’s heart hurt looking at Arthur; so much so, that Merlin thought seriously about turning around and leaving. He’d never know if he would have, for at that moment, Arthur looked up and saw him, a beautiful smile lighting his face.

Arthur pulled the ear buds from his ears. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Merlin said simply. He walked up and sat beside Arthur under the tree. A cool breeze rustled through the leaves overhead, skirting the tree to blow Arthur’s fringe into his eyes and lift Merlin’s thin scarf gently from his chest. Merlin licked his lips, feeling terribly awkward and yet, at the same time, strangely at home. “What are you doing?” He indicated the computer.

Arthur looked at the screen. “Oh, um, just looking. At…um.”

Merlin moved to lean against the tree beside Arthur, laughing a little. “A little early in the day for porn, isn’t it?” He said, and then shut his mouth when he saw the screen.

Arthur was looking at a dating site.

“Just out of curiosity, you know,” Arthur said weakly. “I haven’t joined it or anything.”

Merlin’s eyes took in the page. In the left-hand corner a smiling man looked back at him. Under the picture was the name Mordred.

“A little young, isn’t he?” Merlin asked, jealousy biting at him.

“A bit, I guess,” Arthur acknowledged uncomfortably. Merlin leaned close to him so he could see the screen, and Arthur, only inches away, seemed to be staring at Merlin’s face, almost as though he were breathing him in. But Merlin was too distracted by the web page to pay attention to that. This Mordred fellow’s profile said he had a PhD in Bio Chemistry, a love of science fiction, cooking, and “all things living” whatever the hell that meant, and, most disconcerting, that he wanted to settle down and have a family. “An army of children” is the way he put it.

“Sounds perfect for you,” Merlin stated dryly, and Arthur shut the laptop and put it aside.

“I’m glad you came,” Arthur told him. “I’ve missed you. A lot.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” Merlin admitted, staring at the small branch he’d picked up off the ground beside him, still reeling from Mordred’s profile and the fact that Arthur had been looking at it. _Arthur’s done with you. It’s only a matter of time until he finds someone, marries him, and starts a family out here in the farmhouse Arthur showed you before he bought it, fucking him in the bedroom you love, cooking him food wearing the apron he wore for you…Goddammit!_

With sudden anger, Merlin broke the branch he held in his hand with a loud _snap!_

A thud and squawk from behind them had both Merlin and Arthur turning to find Billy on the ground with Florence flapping spastically around him.

“You startled him,” Arthur said unnecessarily. After a moment, Billy popped up as if nothing had happened.

 _And my fainting goat!_ Merlin would be damned if some _git_ got custody of Merlin’s goat.

With a firm set to his jaw, he turned to Arthur, who watched Merlin closely.

“Merlin, I—I don’t want to lose you,” Arthur told him sincerely before Merlin could say anything.

Longing, strong and fierce filled Merlin’s heart because he definitely didn’t want to lose Arthur. But seeing that website had done funny things to him, and he wasn’t willing to let go of that jealousy and hurt quite yet.

“Looks like you’re moving on,” he said a bit sulkily.

“What?” Arthur looked genuinely confused for a moment before realizing what Merlin was talking about. “Oh, I only looked at that site because Morgana mentioned it.”

 _That traitor, Morgana!_ Merlin thought testily.

Billy ambled over and began nudging at Merlin’s leg, and Merlin reached out and scratched the little nubs on his head.

“I wonder what would’ve happened if we’d held off on this talk of children for a while,” Arthur said, leaning back against the tree.

Merlin looked over at him. “What do you mean?”

Arthur sighed. “It just seems that we were doing so well, and then suddenly it all ended.”

He looked so terribly sad that Merlin turned and laid his head on his shoulder, lacing the fingers of one hand through Arthur’s.

“It ended so fast, it hurt, Merlin,” Arthur said on a broken whisper, and Merlin felt his own tears threatening. He tilted his head, looking up at Arthur, dismayed at the pools standing in the deep blue of Arthur’s eyes. “Ach, Arthur, don’t,” he said, reaching up with a trembling hand and catching the tears as they spilled. His hand curled behind Arthur’s neck and he tugged him down, their lips meeting, warm and familiar. Merlin tasted both Arthur’s tears and his own.

The kiss, sweet and a bit sad, took only a moment to turn hungry and feral. Arthur clutched Merlin to him, sliding his hand down to palm Merlin’s hardening cock, and, shit, it felt so good Merlin let out a moan so loud he startled himself. A _thunk_ and squawk behind him told him he wasn’t the only one.

He felt Arthur’s smile against his lips. “You’re upsetting the children,” he said into the kiss, and Merlin was thankful Arthur continued to kiss him like there was no tomorrow rather than getting all uncomfortable at having brought up the word _children_.

Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur, loving the way Arthur’s body settled on top of his, meeting the contours of his frame perfectly.  Merlin let his hands rove over Arthur’s back and buttocks, having missed the feel of him in the long weeks they’d been apart. He spread his legs and wrapped them around Arthur too, feeling Arthur’s little gasp of pleasure.

“Oh, Merlin, Merlin, Merlin…” Arthur panted into their kiss just before his tongue swooped into Merlin’s greedy mouth again.

With a surge of desire and possessiveness, Merlin pushed Arthur back and over until Merlin was on top, his hands fumbling at Arthur’s shorts, pushing them down before he got his own jeans to his knees and their bare cocks together, where they belonged.

Arthur breathed fast, his mouth open, as Merlin tilted his head to suck on Arthur’s tender neck, unable to reign himself in, while moving his hips as Arthur frantically pushed up against him. Merlin made damn sure the love bite was deep and purple and fucking noticeable just in case _Mordred_ or any other man needed to see who Arthur belonged to. Tears stung his eyes as he felt Arthur clinging to him, making small, needy grunting noises that had Merlin’s balls aching with need.

“Arthur… mine. Arthur…mine,” he chanted to the rhythm of his hips thrusting.

“Yes, yes,” Arthur groaned, grasping Merlin’s arse and squeezing it roughly. Merlin moved his lips from Arthur’s neck to his nipples, nibbling and pulling on them each in turn. He skimmed over Arthur’s quivering stomach to pepper kisses down his left thigh. When he began flicking his tongue at Arthur’s scrotum, Arthur jerked and yelled out.

“Ah—ahh, Merlin!”

_thunk. squawk!_

Both Arthur and Merlin laughed breathlessly, Merlin burying his face between Arthur’s groin and leg, his shoulders shaking with lust and mirth.

“God, our life is weird,” Arthur sighed. Merlin turned his head and sucked Arthur’s tight ball sac in, liking the sound of those words— _our life_ \--and Arthur moaned, his legs jerking helplessly as long ropes of cum spurt onto his abdomen and chest. Merlin looked up at Arthur lying there, loose and gasping, a bit of spunk on his chin, and he grinned, crawling up Arthur’s body to taste his kiss-swollen, rosy lips.

Arthur reached a shaking hand for Merlin’s cock and stroked it as they continued kissing, Arthur’s lips soft and insistent, until Merlin closed his eyes, nestling his face in Arthur’s neck as he released with a shudder.

***

Inside, after they’d poured some wine and sat on the couch, Arthur looked at Merlin earnestly. “I guess we really haven’t solved anything, have we.”

Merlin bit his lip and shook his head no. “Why did you ask me out here? Was it just because you missed me?”

“No, I…” Arthur sighed. “I felt like maybe …maybe having children isn’t all that important to me. Not as important as you are, anyway.”

Merlin’s mouth fell open in surprise. “Arthur, I don’t want to take that dream away from you.”

Arthur shrugged. “And I don’t want to lose you.”

Merlin put his glass on a coaster and turned to look at Arthur. “I’ve been thinking that maybe it was unfair of me to say that I adamantly don’t want children…someday.”

The hope that transformed Arthur’s face was painful to watch. Knowing that Arthur had been suffering hurt Merlin terribly.

“I mean,” he began, wanting to be honest and clear about everything. “I guess maybe I should have told you that all this—“ Merlin spread his arms out to encompass the room and the farmhouse in general, “well, was a bit scary for me. I haven’t exactly been thinking about settling down, and then I meet you, and you’re wonderful, but you’re getting a house, and we’re going so fast…”

Arthur held up a hand, “But I tried to take it slow!”

Merlin shook his head. “I’m not really talking about sex here, Arthur, although I know it’s important. I was already in love with you when we went to bed together. Sex didn’t have anything to do with our relationship moving quickly.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “God, Arthur, I love you, and I really want to make this work!”

Arthur almost melted into the couch. “Me, too. So much.”

“Let’s just talk this out, yeah?” Merlin suggested. He thought for a minute. “How long are you willing to wait to have a child? I mean, is it was something you want to do within a year?”

Arthur shook his head. “I admit, I felt like that, but after meeting you, I knew I’d want to have plenty of time alone with you first. But when you said you didn’t want children…well, I just know I want a child sometime in the future.”

Relief washed through Merlin. “So if I say that I might possibly be willing to consider it…down the road…is that still a deal breaker for you?”

Arthur scrambled to get his wine glass on the table and move closer to Merlin. “Merlin, no! I never meant for you to feel pressured or rushed! I just thought that—hell,” he shook his head, his eyes growing damp.

Merlin cupped Arthur’s chin in his hands. “Shh, it’s okay. We’ve had our wires crossed a bit, that’s all. I shouldn’t have let you think I’d never consider it, and I really picked the worst possible time to bring it up, didn’t I?”

Arthur nodded. “Sort of, yeah. We couldn’t really have this conversation then. But I should have tried to talk to you later instead of just shutting down.”

“You shut down? I didn’t come out of my flat for a week!” Merlin laughed. “Will said I smelled terrible, and I grew a beard, Arthur!”

Arthur’s brow rose. “Really? How’d it look?”

“Truly awful. Like something out of _The Scarlet Letter,_ according to Will."

“I resorted to talking to the goat and chicken,” Arthur admitted.

“Well, that’s not so bad, really. They can be rather good listeners.” Merlin grinned.

Arthur’s hand trailed down Merlin’s arm. “So how do you want to play this?”

“Let’s take it slow. I’ll come out here, you come to mine. We’ll go out. Get to know one another even better, yeah?”

Arthur nodded. “Yeah.”

 

 

 

 


	12. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's the end! Thanks so much for reading!

A week after Morgana moved in with Will, she announced that they were throwing a dinner party and inviting Uther.

“What are you, crazy?” Arthur asked. He was having lunch with his sister at a deli across from his law office. Merlin was supposed to meet them, but he was late, and Arthur alternated between looking at his watch and looking at the door.

“Arthur, either we face Father, or we cut him out of our lives entirely.  I’m inviting him, and I think you should bring Merlin.”

“You know this is just going to ruin your party, don’t you?” Arthur asked, a grin spreading over his face when Merlin _finally_ walked in the door and spotted them at their table.

“Hello!” Merlin greeted them, bending to press a kiss to Arthur’s lips. He took a seat. “Sorry I’m late, but I had a call just as I was leaving my flat.”

“No problem,” Arthur said, and Morgana rolled her eyes. “Was it about your novel?”

“Yeah,” Merlin smiled. “A publisher is interested.”

Arthur whooped and grabbed Merlin, kissing him a little more passionately than he normally would in public.

“That’s wonderful, Merlin!” Morgana enthused. “We’ll celebrate it at my party next month. Clear your calendar for the fifteenth, because we are having a little Christmas get together.”

“Wow, that’s nice of you, Morgana!” Merlin said. “I’ll look forward to it.”

“Father will be there,” Arthur told him, and Merlin’s face fell.

“Oh. Did you say the fifteenth? I think…”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Morgana stopped him. “You are both coming and that’s final. You’ve been dating for months and hiding it from Uther.”

“I haven’t been hiding it; I just haven’t talked to him,” Arthur pointed out.

“Arthur…”

“All right, O’kay. Just swerve, would you?”

Morgana almost spit her drink out. “Oh, my God! Did you just tell me to swerve?”

Merlin began laughing behind his napkin.

“Arthur, you are in no way cool enough to be saying things like that,” Morgana told him matter-of-factly.

“Says you,” Arthur returned, sticking his tongue out at her.

***

December fifteenth came bitterly cold and windy. Morgana and Will decorated their small flat to the nines, including a huge tree that took up an entire corner and carols playing on the stereo. Gwen and Lance wore elf and Father Christmas suits, respectively, and spiked eggnog abounded.

Merlin sat on the sofa twisting his cocktail napkin into an odd shape.

“Trying to compete with me?” Elena asked, sitting down beside her brother. At Merlin’s questioning look, she pointed to the napkin. “Making napkin sculptures.”

“Oh, no. No.” Merlin put the gnarled bit of colored paper down on the coffee table. Just a bit nervous.” He glanced at the skinny, grinning elf perched on a reindeer that was the centerpiece in front of him. “Is it just me, or is that thing really creepy?”

“It’s really creepy,” Elena agreed. She put an arm around him. “And you’ve got nothing to be nervous about. If Uther is rude, it’s because he doesn’t approve of Arthur’s lifestyle. It doesn’t have anything to do with you. You’re wonderful.” She kissed his cheek. “And you and Arthur have been together over four months. You’ve got what it takes for the long haul, and Uther’s disapproval isn’t going to change that.”

Merlin sighed. “Thanks, Laney. Where’s Freya?”

“She’s on the balcony smoking with one of Morgana’s friends.” Elena wrinkled her nose. “I know, nasty habit. I’m trying to break her of it.”

The doorbell rang, as it had been doing all evening, but Merlin jumped anyway because he wasn’t going to settle down until Uther got there and said his piece.

Arthur cast Merlin a look from where he stood across the room talking with Leon, silently telling him to calm down. Merlin knew that Arthur’s father had arrived; he could feel the evil vibe. Morgana sailed toward the door, perfectly calm, and Merlin couldn't help smiling. Once he'd gotten to know her, Merlin had found that Morgana was normally very difficult to rattle, and the way he’d seen her when they’d first met was an exception to the rule, just proving how very much she cared about her brother.That knowledge endeared her to him more than anything else could.

He stood, and when Uther entered the room with a very pretty girl (and he did mean girl) on his arm, Merlin hastened to Arthur’s side. Arthur’s mouth was hanging open a bit as he watched Morgana kiss their father’s cheek and shake hands with his date _._

“Morgana, Arthur, I’d like you to meet Sophia, my girlfriend.” Uther wrapped an arm around Sophia, who was blond, pretty, and had on a glittery skirt that resembled a table napkin. The matching halter top wasn’t much bigger.

Morgana’s smile only faltered a bit, but Merlin had to nudge Arthur in the side to break him out of his shock-coma.

“Er, hello, Sophia, nice to meet you,” Arthur hurried to say, taking her hand in his. “This is my boyfriend, Merlin. Father, I believe you and Merlin have met.”

“Oh, yes. On the night you were injured,” Uther replied, looking down his nose. “He threw me out of your flat.”

“Only because you wouldn’t leave,” Merlin replied before he could stop himself. Morgana hid her mouth behind her hand, and Arthur’s eyes widened. _I’ve really stepped in it now,_ Merlin thought, but then Uther threw his head back and laughed. Merlin, Arthur, and Morgana exchanged shocked glances. _Was he drunk?_

Morgana must have realized this was the perfect time to introduce Will, so she called to him from where he was standing (not hiding) behind the ficus plant, beckoning him forward.

When Uther greeted Will without bringing up Isaac and then learned that Will owned a paintball establishment without insulting him outright, no one seemed to know what to do.

“Arthur,” Uther said, turning to his flabbergasted son, “I thought you would have had me out to your house by now. When do I get to see it?”

“Father…are you all right?” Arthur asked tentatively.

“What do you mean, am I all right?” He accepted the drink Will brought him and watched with adoring eyes as Sophia drank from hers, giggling as the champagne tickled her nose.

“Well, you seem, um…never mind. You are welcome to come out to the house anytime.”

“Are you two living together?” Uther asked, his finger swaying between Arthur and Merlin.

Arthur put his arm around Merlin’s waist. “No, but Merlin plans to move in after the holidays when the contract on his flat is up for renewal.”

“Well, that’s nice,” Uther turned to his companion. “Sophia, shall we hit the buffet?”

"Yes, let's, sweet-ums." Sophia ran a long fingernail down Uther's cheek, and he smiled dopily. He watched her walk away, her hips swaying.

Leaning in towards his children, he said in a low voice, "You stay out of mine, and I'll stay out of yours," before scurrying after her.

“Well, this certainly works in our favor,” Arthur whispered after they’d walked away.

“She’s a mere child!” Morgana exclaimed, appalled. “Will! Are you looking at her arse?”

“No!” Will’s head snapped around, and Merlin laughed.

“You’re so whipped,” he told his friend.

The rest of the evening went pleasantly, with Uther and Sophia acting the image of a couple in love. Arthur and Merlin stayed until well past midnight, when they had originally assumed they’d make an early night of it.

Arriving at Merlin’s flat, they undressed quietly in the dark.

“Do you think Billy and Flo are cold?” Merlin asked when they’d climbed into his bed and lay holding each other, listening to the wind outside the window.

“I doubt it, since you built them that insulated chicken–cum-goat house,” Arthur replied. “They’re probably warmer than we are.” He snuggled closer to Merlin. After a moment of quiet, he asked, “Do you think something’s wrong with Florence?”

“What do you mean?” Merlin tried to think if he’d noticed the chicken acting odd lately. Arthur slipped his cold feet in between Merlin’s, and Merlin jumped. “God! Arthur!”

“Sorry,” Arthur said, not sounding the least bit sorry. “I just wondered about Florence because I’ve had her all this time, and she hasn’t had any chicks.”

Merlin barked out a laugh. “You do know that a goat can’t get a chicken preggers, don’t you, Arthur?”

Arthur shifted. “Oh. Right. I guess I’ll need a rooster, then.”

“If you want chicks and not just eggs, yeah.”

Arthur squeezed Merlin to him. “I’ll let you pick out the rooster,” he said into Merlin’s hair.

“Because I know my way around a cock?” Merlin asked with a cheeky grin.

Arthur slapped Merlin’s arm. “You stole my line!”

Merlin leaned up and kissed Arthur, tonguing his lips playfully. “I’ll be happy to take care of your cock for you,” he said sultrily.

“And will you come over for Christmas?” Arthur asked innocently, eyes wide.

“Of course.”

“And will you kiss me under the mistletoe?”

Merlin planted a kiss just under Arthur’s jaw. “Yes.”

“And will you make that eggnog your mother sent you the recipe for?”

Merlin hummed his assent into Arthur’s neck.

“And…when you open up your present from me, will you wear it?”

Merlin’s head popped up, and he looked down at Arthur. “Wear it?”

Arthur nodded.

“Is it a watch?”

Arthur shook his head.

“A necklace?”

“No.”

“A…hat?”

“No, _Mer_ lin, it is not a hat or a scarf or a coat or even a piece of clothing. It’s a ring.”

“A key ring?” Merlin asked.

Arthur huffed. “It’s a ring, Merlin, that I want to put on your finger after you promise me you’ll marry me.”

“Oh.” Merlin laid his head on Arthur’s chest.

“Merlin?” Arthur asked uncertainly.

“Hm?” Merlin murmured sleepily.

“Will you wear it?”

“Wear what, Arthur?”

Arthur swatted Merlin’s behind, making Merlin yelp.

“Stop teasing me!” Arthur demanded, and Merlin lifted his head and smiled.

“Will you wear the damn engagement ring or not?” Arthur insisted.

“I guess you’ll just have to wait until Christmas to find out, won’t you!” Merlin kissed Arthur lovingly before laying his head back down.

“Arthur?” Merlin asked after a few minutes.

“Hm?” Arthur grumbled.

“Do you think a goat would make a good ring bearer?”

Silence. When Arthur finally spoke, there was a smile in his voice. “I think a goat would make an excellent ring bearer, Merlin. Particularly if he has a chicken on his back.”

 

The End.


End file.
